I say these same words more often than I should. Why do I constantly need to find motivation. I should be prefectly happy just doing them. I am so damn lazy that sometimes I wonder what good am I really?

I haven’t done anything around the house in 2 days. I have been extremely lazy and been sitting in front of the computer more hours than I can count. Understandably, most of that was making a website for an IRC chat room that I like to visit. I should really find other things to do around here. I have so many crafts that I could do instead, chores are a constant and well, me time.

I don’t really feel guilty right now for not doing anything, granted it is Spring Break and that is especially for lazying around. I have homework I need to do, projects I could be working on and preparation for a presentation I will be giving on the 12th of April. Why then is Master’s stern look when he again reminds me that I promised to do this or that today not enough to get my ass up and do it? Am I asking for trouble?

I’m technically off my diet, and I’m kicking myself in the butt for doing so. I really want to loose like 20 lbs before July when I plan on going to see Liz. It would be great to be able to wear summer clothing and not feel like a blimp. I’ve asked the groups I’m in for help motivating myself in this department, we shall see what they come up with. I really just need to get my ass in gear.

I’ve talked with my best friend L more often this week than I have in the past 2 months combined. I think she is feeling stressed and so distant from me lately and I have to admit it’s great to hear her voice and talk to her. I miss when she used to live only 20 min away, now it’s on the East Coast. *sigh*

Monday is the forums and I think I’m ready. I will flat out be running these things alone, and I feel that they will basically run themselves, I’m just the person that calls them and always shows up. I have had 2 emails telling me that they are excited for this topic in particular and that is always a good thing. I’m not sure I’m personally ready to talk about my wants vs. needs, but I will give it a try, maybe I’ll learn somthing.

Master has so much work on his plate I feel bad for him. He says he works 10 hour days and he still can’t see the end of the road any time soon. At least there is money coming in soon. We can pay our bills and catch up on life.

I’m so grateful to have Master in my life. He watches out for me and has been worrying lately with my bouts of insomnia. He’s such a heavy sleeper I wonder if he even notices me getting up earlier and earlier. I don’t do anything that early either, which doesn’t make sense since I’m a morning person. Again, it’s that motivation thing again, what the heck is up with me?

–luna