So, today I helped Master get the CROP website up and functioning http://www.crop-ia.com . I’m pretty excited to have this done and well… I can help do other things now. I have an outline for my paper done, going to start writing it tomorrow morning, and I have most of my presentation prepared for Thursday’s presentation in Spanish class.

Tomorrow night is April’s Forum. We are going to be talking about subspace. It’s been awhile since I have been there myself, so I am going to try to participate all I can. Master has gotten me pretty close, on the edge, to that good warm soft giggly place. I feel like a little child there, and the silliest things make me laugh and I giggle like crazy. I do know that is not the deepest I can go though. I have been where everything that happens is in slow motion, sounds are muted and my reaction to pain is so low that I beg for more with my eyes. I know it is caused by endorphins in the brain, but I think that connection to your partner is also important. It can take you there even faster when you have no fear in the world that he will push you beyond your capabilities in space.

Mindset is something completely different and I feel that you can feel “spacey” in the subm mindset but they are not the same thing. I feel a submissive mindset only occasionally, usually when I’ve been cleaning a lot and I am “in that mode.” I enjoy the mindset though and want to find other times when I am in this mood.

I notice I don’t even think when Master requests more coffee, I am up on my feet before I finish whatever I’m in the middle of to please him. I like that a lot and hope that I can do it more in the future. I want to have that no thought reflex more often. I’m sure it will come to me slowly, just as everything else.

I have to get back on the bedtime routine, I felt more at peace with my day when I did it. I was so happy to find it and start it 2 weeks ago, I want to go back to that. That is my next little goal. Get that routine going.

If you haven’t looked at the bottom of the page recently, you will see I have updated my ticker. I have lost 5 lbs since restarting my diet, however I do believe most of that was water weight. I’ll take whatever I can get though. We’ll see if I can keep that up next week.

–luna