You never know about the little things that make you feel fulfilled. And yet why is it that they small things that annoy you REALLY annoy you?

Let’s use this example. You get hugs, lots of hugs and reassurance, reaffirmation and love from your Dominant. Do you begin to take them for granted? Do they become a part of your normal routine? I have found myself not even acknowledging them. To me that is bad. I should love every touch and look that reminds me of my place, my love and his commitment to making me happy. Today and yesterday, Master would caress my neck and smile at me and I would just take it as friendly attention. I’d like to work on that to savor the times I get. How can I remind myself to treasure the moments I get and not take them for granted. I feel that if I don’t pay attention I may loose them. I don’t want to loose them.

Then today, Master was very horny. I wasn’t really interested in his advances. Before you start writing me telling me that I need to be available to Master at all times, let me explain that Master wants me to enjoy sex as well so if I’m not interested he is less likely to do anything. Well I was more anti-affection than I thought I was today and I feel bad that I gave him a few disgusted looks. It was rude and I need to apologize.

To work on my correction of behavior I will have to pay attention more to the affection I get, and make sure he knows that I appreciate him.

Yesterday I did my first Pilates video. Boy was that a workout. I think I will have better results with this if I keep up with it. My arms and legs are aching and I feel like I worked my ass off yesterday. God bless good ache.

–luna