BDSM is Love

Well, so now that you have an overview of what BDSM is, I’d like to take the time to tell you who I am and why I chose BDSM as my lifestyle. If you’ve heard this story before, feel free to skip it.

My scene nick is luna. I’m a 27 yr old submissive from Iowa, where I currently go to the University of Northern Iowa to get a degree in Spanish. I have a desire to write poetry, and read literature in other languages. I love analyzing text and understanding it. I am currently separated from my husband, without chance of reconciliation. I am also in a full-time relationship with my dominant partner who lives with me.

About 4 years ago, I began to realize that I wasn’t happy in my marriage. It was far more than sexual compatibility that had me wondering if I had made the right choice. There were things that I needed that he couldn’t give, there were things I wanted and wanted to do, that he wouldn’t allow or do. In the summer of that year, I began looking online for someone to talk to about my feelings and desires.

I found a few people, and then IRC. IRC is where I let myself go, I opened myself up to people and learned that there was a commonality. I had desires that brought me to the decision to be submissive in the BDSM scene. I grew close with a few people and was collared (explained later) by a man that helped me learn who and what I was. Everyday he had me learning about myself, researching online about things and figuring out what I wanted and needed in life.

And then I realized I couldn’t get that from my husband. I was crushed. But I knew the next step, I had to leave him. I began throwing hints at him that I wasn’t happy, that things needed to change or I was done, but they fell on deaf ears. He constantly said, ” I don’t see anything wrong, I’m happy the way things are.” That was his answer for everything, if he was happy then there was nothing wrong.

I had failed him as a wife. I was not happy with our arrangements, and I wanted out. There was no easy solution. I had to leave him. It was a hard decision, and I talked with him about it, but because I found the lifestyle, and I craved to know it he couldn’t be there for me. So on July 30th, 2003 I left him.

Things have been hard for me since then, but I have been able to embrace my new life. I found an apartment, I joined the local community and finally felt like I belonged. I chatted with people, I did some casual exploration and playing to see if it was what I wanted. I stayed on IRC and learned more, made more friends and grew. I matured and learned of myself and what I needed. Something I hadn’t done with my ex.

Last October, I made a huge jump. My dominant partner, whom I had been talking to for a year (not the one that collared me earier) moved in with me. He has been my constant rock, my hero, my sex god and my Master. He collared me shortly after my birthday of that year and I haven’t looked back.

–luna

What my everyday collar looks like: