BDSM is Love

Tonight was a 2 fold event. Nothing particularly special to report during the day, just lazying around, enjoying a Law and Order: SVW Marathon. However tonight is what I want to talk about. During sex tonight we pulled out the new nipple clamps after my suggestion to try them out. He applied them to my nipples. My only other experience with clover clamps is the collar Master bought that has them attached to it. That this is a love hate relationship. My breasts are so heavy that as soon as they are attached they are pulled and while the look of them may be stunning, I am so whinny about ouchie nipples. I love breast play, don’t get me wrong but it is just so much more intense than other parts of my body that it makes me antsy, whinny, and in the case tonight, a crybaby. It shocked Master (he had never made me cry) and we stopped suddenly. Yes I had panicked and begged to have them taken off, but in the same breath I was thinking my god its been a long time since I felt this. I know that it bothered Master to see my crying, and I tried to reassure him that I was fine, that it was just a response to the pain and not a bad emotion at all. He’s so used to me giggling and being silly that this threw him off gaurd. It could also be that pain play times are so few and far between that my pain threshold is back down to 0. We will have to see how things progress with a little work on pain in play for me.

The other event actually happened last night, but being that I didn’t share it with you then, here it is. I talked with Master about things that I and he could be doing to move the relationship in the direction we both want. He suggested that I become more attentive to his needs so that one day I can anticipate them. This includes getting his coffee and making sure that he is comfortable to performing services for him without being asked. I asked him if he could begin by asking me every time an event like this occurs, “I would like some more coffee, babe.” and I will begin to become aware of these events and happenings and become more aware of them. Second thing I suggested was to help me be in subbie space more often. This would include calling him Master with every request or response, asking instead of telling (which is darn hard for me), and remembering my please and thank yous. All of these I figure should be easy for me to pick up and help me remember who I am serving and why. I realize this will take a lot of correction in the beginning and I am still wondering if it will require punishments but that is up to Master and since he doesn’t comment on this blog, nor will he tell me till the time comes, I guess I have to just watch myself at the onset.

I have mentioned to Master about the desire for another collar, as this one has aged and is black leather. It’s turning my neck black when I sweat and it’s not fun to have to keep scrubbing my neck. If anyone has any budget concious suggestions I and I’m sure Master would be open to them. I was thinking something metal, maybe just a pretty necklace that I could wear, maybe with a locket, lock, or dog tag type thing.

–luna