BDSM is Love

What does ’surrender’ mean to you? from Kindlings

I surrender. I don’t surrender all the time, it is not an automatic response… yet. I want to surrender completely to the wills and control of my Master. I strive for it everyday, with every effort.

Surrender to me is the ability of one person to release control, stress, cares, worry, and responsibility to another. To surrender so completely and peaceably with oneself is a goal that very few actually achieve. At this point in my journey I don’t see it reaching this stage. That isn’t to say that I can’t surrender on some level.

I have surrendered a bit already. I have Master. I had to submit to him for me to even call him that. I surrender to him whenever he requests that I do something (and I actually do it). I try to surrender to him in all occasions, failing miserably at some. But there is the attempt!

I know that with more dedication and patience on both our parts, I will some day reach my ultimate limit somewhere on the surrendered scale. This will be the happy medium I seek; where my submissive feels comfortable and natural and right, and Master is fully happy, within his role and pleased with me.

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Master and I went to see Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire tonight. It was a fantastic movie, even if you aren’t a HP fan. I enjoyed it immensely, up to the end (which is sad). Master was sweet and rubbed my thigh when he noticed me crying. I’m such a sap at movies. It was great to have a “date night.” Been awhile for that.

I am officially done with school. Well… almost. I have one more assignment and one more day I must attend, but I’m done! I have a month break before classes again and this will be my final semester. I’m so nervous about being finished. What do I do next? Will I have a job that supports us as I want to? How will my next phase in life affect my service to Master?

–luna