BDSM is Love

Yes Valentine’s was hard. Thank you for all the comments to my blog about your thoughts and feelings and the support while I work on things.

Yesterday after some gentle coaxing from starla I was able to see that I have a greater goal to reach and not to dwell on this setback. I did finally suck it up and go apologize and Master did too. The rest of the day was spent catching up with what we missed out on Valentine’s day. I’d have to say it was fun and nice and showed me that Master did care about how this relationship was going.

Last night we had a talk so that we could avoid this argument in the future. For the problem with my denying blowjobs (and I’m sure will build up to other things) he removed the stress of thinking he was going to force me to accept cum in my mouth to, as he always done, giving me warning and letting me decide to do it or not until I can do it all the time. I think that when we started working on it I was afraid that he wouldn’t warn me, although uncharacteristic of him, and I really have problems with the taste and texture still. Now I can relax a bit more and get used to it before I have stress of having to do it. That day will come in the future though so I have some work ahead.

As far as my orgasms, we discussed that I need quite a bit more than I am getting mostly during very stressful periods, as for me it’s a stress reliever. It will require more foreplay in our sex than we have in the past and I have to be more active (only reason I can think of why I’m not now is my weight makes it harder and I wear our faster). He expressed that if I thought I needed an orgasm to ask for it and he would decide how to handle it. That would still leave him with the final say.

I think I’m okay with how things worked out, and while I am certain there could have been a way to avoid the fight it has helped us grow and strengthen our roles.

–luna