BDSM is Love

I’m trying towards a goal. While Master and I are still not sure where we will end up, we are certainly having a lot of ups and downs, explorations and excitement on the way. We are a first time relationship, we have agreed to work into things slowly. I’d have to say that about every 6 months or so we reevaluate our relationship and add things, or take things away as needed to help us get to where we want.

We are both young. Young in life and in the lifestyle. I’m 28. He’s 22. This is our first D/s relationship and we love each other immensely. All things will come and while it may seem odd as you read about our relationship and the issues I go through, please realize that it is all a learning experience.

Master has problems with feeling dominant. It’s probably why he acts the way he does in situations like Valentine’s day. I have problems feeling submissive. I know that’s why I act the way I do. We don’t make excuses for each other. We accept each other as we are. It’s always a learning experience and since there are not wrong or right ways to have a D/s relationship we can relax and know that what we want is on the horizon, no matter how far away that horizon may appear.

I have said it before, and it warrants saying again. I am not a natural submissive, my goal is not to be slave but a submissive, as perfect as Master wishes me. I chose to be submissive because of my upbringing and 1st marriage. Neither of which I will go into detail here. I was forced to be independent and in control of anything I could around me and try to govern my fate as best I could. I was in charge of everything and had more responsibility than I wanted. This relationship where I try hard to be submissive, to reach that part of me is to place me where I want to be; peaceful and happy. I feel that when I submit. I currently do not submit all the time. Much of the time I am Master’s partner, lover and friend. From the outside world I am his girlfriend; solid and true. We have slowly been able to work submissive rules and restrictions into all facets of my life, but it is a slow process. He has told me many times that he is very happy with progress and that while the final result is still out of reach, the fact that I am progressing is enough for him to be happy.

–luna