6…
Just six more days and I’m a college graduate. I’ve never thought this day would come. I’ve had a lot of trials in my life that would speak to everyone else that I’m just not going to make it. I’ve had a failed marriage, near bankruptcy, a loss of a home to live in… twice, and a pleading to the university to allow me back with a promise to do better and be good. $45,000 later, I am a college graduate.
And now the real world scares me. I don’t know what to do with my life after school. I know I need a job. I know I need to find something that makes me happy and doesn’t over tax me. Master insists that part. I’m sure it’s because he wants a happy subbie at home when I am home. But my fears have become physical ailments. I’ve been terrible at my diet, but only in the evenings, my workouts have been short and I’ve had a lot of chocolate. This can not last long.
I’ve got to keep loosing weight, I’m doing so well. This diet break is just a short set back. I know I will keep going. Just one more pound and I’m at 10% lost off my original weight. Now, I still have over 100 pounds I want to loose and hopefully will do considerably well by the time my goal date elapses (Oct 24th 2007). I’ve not given up, and won’t.
I’m sadly not horny lately. I’m trying to figure out why because it’s not that Master doesn’t turn me on, nor that I don’t happen to really love sex. Master just knows all the right spots, but here’s my problem. I’ve had a lot of issues since Master took away my ability to masturbate (because I screwed up, but still). I don’t fantasize anymore, I don’t dream up hot little stories like I used to. I don’t talk dirty with anyone in chat. I just am not a dirty talking, naughty dreams girl anymore. I need to fix that. I liked being smoldery hot and always on fire for sex. How do I get that back? Why did it leave in the first place?
–luna
I'm luna, KnyghtMare's submissive since 2004. I'm a BBW with brown hair and blue eyes. I've been married, separated, almost divorced now; living with my Master.
Master placed his permanent collar on me January 27, 2006. I'm learning and growing into the perfect submissive for him. I'm changing my behaviors, my attitude and my thought processes to become a better person.
This is an adult blog. If you get offended to talk of sex, sexuality and BDSM, please turn back now.
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