BDSM is Love

Service is one of the most primary, the most basic of terms within the BDSM realm. Service can loosely be defined as an act or work done by one individual to the benefit another, but what does service mean within the BDSM realm.

The need to serve is the most fundamental desire within a slave; the desire to be in the service of another is the driving force that beckons to each and every slave.

When one is first exposed to the BDSM realm there are many things that may attract an individual; the taboo nature of the lifestyle, the acceptance, the mystery or the feel of being utterly controlled, but there is one thing that makes someone dedicate their life to being a slave and that is the desire to serve.

Many relationships are service based or service focused relationships. This is a relationship that is not focused on sexuality, pleasure, or playtime. This form of relationship is focused on the service of a slave to an owner, in whatever form of service is desired by the owner.

When an individual writes and asks what I will do to him or her, my answer is simple, anything I wish to; but in reality this individual just informed me that he or she is not a service oriented slave. By asking what I can do for him or her, the slave is telling me that they want to be the focus of the relationship. With a service oriented slave they will mention what they have to offer not what they wish to receive. This tells the owner that the slave’s focus is on serving, and providing a service for the owner with no desire for self-gratification; just the pleasure of being allowed to serve.

To serve is to offer one’s self, one’s talent, one’s knowledge, one’s body, and one’s very presence to use of another individual. An experienced owner will understand the slave’s need to serve and focus on making the arrangement mutually beneficial. The owner will utilize what the slave has to offer and allow the slave to serve, with the understanding that a little recognition for a job well done is all that the slave expects in return.

I must say that one of the worst punishments that you can inflict on a service-oriented slave is to restrict them from serving, or to force them to watch while another slave serves their owner.

Service is the foundation of being a slave, in one form or another; service is the very life force within the BDSM realm.

Norische

My thoughts: Pertaining to service I really don’t feel that it’ a need in me. I enjoy serving most of the time, but really I’m not in a D/s relationship becuase of my need to serve. I actually have a need to submit morethan serve. This need to feel in submission is what brought me to the lifestyle. Before that I considered myself just a kinky sex partner and was happy that way. Something changed in me that caused me to want to be in submissive mode outside the bedroom and with that my journey began.Norische discusses service more along the lines of a slave, and while there are always conflicts as to who is a slave and who is a submissive I know I am not a slave for the very reason in the previous paragraph. I do not need to serve. This does make my relationship a little about service but more about the power exchange in other forms. Master is young, and as such, focuses on the sexual part of the relationship more than I do. I know that with growth and maturity this will change and I hope for that. I know he is capable of being a tremendous person and an exceptional Dominant for me. He knows me before I know myself, he can read me and he knows what I need or want at practically any given time. He sees when I want to serve and when I want to be a slut.

Part of Norishe’s essay says that the owner tries to make the relationship beneficial for both parties, ie. s/he wishes to serve, S/He will find things that they enjoy to allow for the service. It’s a beautiful exchange that I have only caught glimpses of in the munch groups I am in. I do hope to have more structure which will involve service to Master rather than being available; which is my current status. He does have wishes for me to serve him more often in other facets such as food service, attentiveness, bathing and grooming and possibly more that he has not brought up. I will grow into this, as I know I would like to do these things as well.