Questions
I feel off today. I’m not sure 100% why. I’ve had a lot of thoughts going through my mind lately, not all of them good. Concerns that will get voiced when I’m ready to do so. I want to be sure that these concerns are founded in truth and not just emotional things.
I begin to wonder if my goal of being submissive will ever come true. I feel submissive sometimes, but not always. Master thinks it’s useless for play because I’m not submissive. We don’t play because of me. Why is it so hard to get me in the mood when all my mind does is wish for more play? It doesn’t make sense.
Why isn’t he being more in control? Why is it he decides that it’s too hard so he doesn’t try. He gives up so easily. If I am not as fussy maybe he’ll try more.
It’s all my fault according to him. I started that erotic story blogsite and he asked not to be informed when it’s updated. I made it so that he could see that I’m still a sexual being and that I want to be more erotic. What does that tell me? Why does it bother me that he doesn’t want to know about it?
I’ll take the blame then. He’s Mr perfect.
–luna
I'm luna, KnyghtMare's submissive since 2004. I'm a BBW with brown hair and blue eyes. I've been married, separated, almost divorced now; living with my Master.
Master placed his permanent collar on me January 27, 2006. I'm learning and growing into the perfect submissive for him. I'm changing my behaviors, my attitude and my thought processes to become a better person.
This is an adult blog. If you get offended to talk of sex, sexuality and BDSM, please turn back now.
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