BDSM is Love

Continuing more on my code of ethics I’ve come to realize that there are submissive code of ethics out there on the net that seem all and good, but not very personal. A common one I see passed around is:

1. I will communicate with complete honesty my needs, desires, limits, and experience. I realize that failing to do so will not only prevent my Top and I from from having the best experience possible, but can also lead to physical and emotional harm.2. I will not try to manipulate my Top. I will not push to make a scene go the way I feel it should. In other words, I will not top from the bottom.

3. I will keep an open mind about trying things that I am not comfortable with and expanding my limits. I will continue to grow as a submissive and as a human being.

4. I will accept the responsibility of discovering what pleases my Top, and will do my best to fufill his wishes and desires.

5. I will not allow myself to be harmed or abused. I know that submissive does not equal doormat.

6. I will be courteous and helpful to my fellow submissives. I will share my knowledge and experience with others in the hope that they will learn and benefit from where I have been. I will take the time to help those new to the scene start out on the correct path.

7. I will be responsive to my Top. I will not try to hide what my mind and body are feeling so that I may assist him in his responsibilities as my authority. I know that Dominants are not telepaths, and will not expect my Top to know thoughts or feelings which I do not share.

8. I will accept in the responsibility of a scene or relationship gone bad. I will not place total blame on my Top when it is not warranted simply because he is the Dominant. I realize that things may not work out as they should at times, and will do my best to put it behind me and move on.

9. I will give my gift of submission only to those that can responsibly accept and desire to receive. I will not place anyone in the position of Topping me non-consensually, nor will I give my respect to someone that has not earned it.

10. I know that D/s is not a contest, and will never think myself a “better” submissive because I choose to submit on a different level than another. I will not be boastful of the experiences I have had as a bottom.

11. I will be obedient to my Top even if I disagree with what he is requesting. I realize he has my best interests at heart and often knows better than I what I need in a particular situation.

12. I know that my actions reflect upon my Top, and will do my best to help others see him in a positive way. I will not intentionally embarrass or displease my Dominant.

13. Above all, I will wear my title of submissive with honor. I will never cause others to think that being submissive means to be weak or sub-human. I will take pride in who and what I am and will never show myself in a negative way.

Now I find nothing wrong with this one, it’s great to get started with and I’m sure part of what I write in mind is just worded differently than this one. I like quite a bit of it, and with some customization this one could very well be a base for my finalized version to be posted on my website someday. I’m applying more and more to my life as I try to get back what I once had. I lost my way and now I’m turning around and finding that path again. It’s a slow process but well worth the work.

The next three points on my code of ethics are:

1. I will plan some time everyday for Master’s pleasure.

2. My appearance reflects on Master, so I must care for myself at all times.

3. I must journal for Master at least every other day.

The first one is actually to help me center my attention, putting Master’s needs before my own. Perhaps in the final version those two (#2 from the first set and #1 from this one) will become one thought. I find myself neglecting Master’s pleasure, putting work or myself first. It is selfish and inappropriate.

Secondly is my physical appearance which needs a lot of work all around. Master has a rule that I put on makeup before leaving the house, but my appearance in the house has no rules and I do tend to be lazy with that. I need to be appealing to Master at all times, and feeling good about my presence at home and away.

Last one for today is a given. Master insists that I journal for him every other day. More if I have more to say. The journal that is for Master is HERE. I’m working on recentering that blog too. It’s been a bunch of nothingness for months now.

–luna

PS: I will be doing a blogathon with blogathon.org at the end of next month on my other blog ^^. The charity I have choosen is The Institue for the 21st Century Relationship (http://www.lovethatworks.org). It’s a foundation with the National Coalition for Sexual Freedom (who was my charity last year) and helps spread knowledge and awareness of non-traditional relationships of all types. This includes gay, bi, poly, swinging, open marriages, BDSM and fetish relationships. Basically any relationship that isn’t the standard “male/female marriage”. This organization is more about knowledge, education and research whereas the NCSF is about lobbying and politics. I love the idea and I hope that you will consider donating when the time comes. All donations to ITCR are tax deductible! I’ll keep you posted.