There is a lot going on here that I want to talk about, so be prepared.

I’ve been in contact with my dad, who shared with me that my grandmother is gravely ill and may not make it the week coming. I’m not very close to her, but there is always the regrets that creep up when you know that the end is nearing for a family member. I’m saddened and can hope to maybe see her before she passes, but that requires money to drive down there… something I can’t afford to do more than once. Do I go see her while she’s in intensive care or go for the funeral that I know is coming? I can’t call her, the affliction she has ( I can’t pronounce it) is a neurological disorder that has severely impaired her speaking and all facial muscle control. I don’t even know if she’s off respirators. She went into respiratory arrest on Friday. She’s just barely hanging on from what my father said. I think I’d like to remember her as she was and go to the funeral than to see her now and have that vision in my mind forever. With her passing I will have no more grandparents.

My new boss will call me tomorrow to set up when my training will begin. I will have to tell him about my grandmother so that he’s aware of the situation, but I will start training sometime this week. I’m looking forward to working and I know that our financial situation will get better once I’m bringing in a regular paycheck. I’m trying to figure out where I’m going to come up with money to drive up to WI for training as well. Hopefully I can get a freelance job started (maybe completed) before I have to drive.

The Blogathon 2006 template is up, as if you couldn’t tell. I will be updating the money total and sponsors list as I have time to. Please take a look and consider helping out however you can. Blogathon offers lump sum pledges as well as by the hour pledges. Anything would be great. After I successfully complete the ‘thon, you will get an email with directions on how to donate to my charity.

My charity is The Institute for 21st Century Relationships. I feel strongly in it’s cause and mission, as no one should have to fit into a cookie-cutter relationship/marriage anymore. Each person has the right to choose and not face prejudice because of that choice. Help me support awareness and research. Pledge to Blogathon 2006 on my behalf!

My punishment is plodding along, barring any setbacks it will be done on July 22nd. That’s when I get IMs and IRC back. It will feel like ages, but I’m feeling so much better now that I can do the things online that will help me feel more comfortable and myself again. I can go back to analyzing my submission, working on training efforts and my websites. It’s not to say that Master and I haven’t had our arguments since this all started. It’s amazing how when you are punished and you do something wrong that everything becomes a big deal. I’ll be glad when we can put this behind us and move on… knowing that I will not transgress this path again. In five days I will be able to sleep in Master’s bed again. I will not be sorry to see the palette on the floor disappear. It’s lonely and not very comfortable. I miss Master’s warmth and cuddles in the middle of the night. It’s a constant reminder that I am in trouble.

My diet has fallen by the wayside. I need to pick it back up and get going again. I will begin recording my food on fitday again, posting in my diet blog and working on exercise yet again. I still hope to get to 50 lbs lost by Sept. 30th. That date is the one year mark for my diet effort. I would feel good to get there. I have, as of right now, 16 lbs go to. (I’d like to point out that I feel 4 lbs of it is TOM bloat.)

What is everyone doing for Independence Day? Master and I aren’t doing anything exciting. We are going to see fireworks in the evening if it isn’t too cloudy and maybe if he’s up to it we can find a park to go to or something. This area has got to have live music, a fair, something we can walk around at.

Stay tuned for training posts and finding my thoughts re centering on my submission again very soon. I need to tentatively step out on the path again.

–luna