Q & A: khouria wants to know why I am into BDSM?
Well, why I’m into BDSM is a loaded question. There are a few things that lead me down this road. I was not always kinky (or maybe I was 
). I was married for 3 years. The marriage was luke warm at best and the sex was miserable. I just attributed it to us not having the same common desires. I started wanting more rough sex; something my ex was not capable of for some reason or another. I started craving spanking, and anal play and bondage and loved the blindfold that I bought one year for a Valentine’s surprise. The sexual side of me was transforming. My ex stayed behind.
After I found that I wanted things kinky I began exploring online to find people to talk to, learn from and ask questions. I gleaned off of websites and chat rooms anything I could about BDSM and learned there was a whole culture and lifestyle connected to it. I not only could be BDSM in the bedroom but submissive outside as well.
To say the least I was intrigued. I was not happy with being in charge of my marriage, the finances and the housework. I was the breadwinner and the maid. I did everything and was miserable. I felt used and not in a good way.
In 2003 I left my husband. I had had enough and wanted to explore my new desires and feelings. I joined a couple of local real groups and attending meetings. I met Dominants and submissives and started to feel the pull to the submissive side no matter how many times someone told me I was quite dominant and independent, strong willed and controlling. Inside all I wanted to do was submit.
I had play partners, men that would come just to do BDSM play. No sex was ever allowed. I felt that was for a relationship only. I enjoyed bondage and flogging, crops, whips, pain. It was delicious and turned me on so much more than the sex I was used to. It became spiritual. I felt connected to the moment and disconnected from worry. All I wanted in that moment was more intimacy. More painful pleasure, more time to worship someone.
I found my Master in a chat room. We began talking in April of 2003 before I left my husband. We were just friends and being that we lived on other continents, it seemed unlikely we would be anything else. In 2004 our feelings changed and we began talking about a relationship and the possibility of him coming here to be with me. October 2004 he moved here. We have been together ever since.
We are both in our very first D/s relationship. We learn from each other about what we want, we play whenever we can. He is Dominant, I am submissive. That is the way I feel safest, at peace and happy with my life. I see it no other way. I submit to him because I want to. I love him because he is my world. I am in the BDSM lifestyle because it is now a part of me.
–luna
subgirl007
Mara Tudor
Radha
Her girl
Baby
It’s good that you have the courage and the curiosity to explore the parts of your self that society shuns itself from and find a reason to be yourself and be happy with yourself. Not many people can do that. Not many people can be willing to admit to that. Somehow, I do envy you being absolutely free.
thanks for answering my question dear.
[...] luna over at A Walk in the Evening Garden has layed her most inner feelings and secrets down onto her blog at the request of someone in IRC. It really is quite an interesting way to think of someone who is into BDSM. I never thought of them as perverts or sickos myself, the same way I don’t look at homosexuals as queer or strange. People are who they are, like what they like, and will do what they want to do. Some things shouldn’t be done - but why the hell should someone not be allowed to enjoy something that they enjoy in the privacy of their own house? [...]