I thought I’d cover what my relationship is in comparison to a “normal” or vanilla relationship.

A D/s relationship’s core is power exchange. One person is the dominant and the other is submissive. In my relationship my boyfriend is the Dominant. He is in charge. It’s a lot like the old 50’s style marriage in this sense, where the male makes all the decisions and the woman cares for the home and family. My service to my Dominant can be from making his coffee in the morning to sexually pleasing him whenever he wishes. I have rules set up for my behavior and rituals to follow. What I get from this is the knowledge that I am pleasing him and I feel the most fullfilled when he is pleased. I derive happiness and pleasure from making him happy and that is the core of who I am. A vanillla relationship has hints of this in all that happens as well, except that roles are easily switched from partner to partner. Sometimes the man is in charge, others the woman. In a power exchange relationship these roles are defined and restricted to one person or the other.

A D/s relationship comes in many forms from mild to wild. Couples can exchange power in only the bedroom, or it can stem out into all that they do. My relationship is a bit of the middle ground. We do a lot as “normal” people but I am always his submissive. I always have a desire to make him happy. This is basic and necessary. I am allowed to do things on my own, I have freedoms that somesubmissives in relationships do not. This is how we are.

Just as every couple is different, even we are different. That doesn’t make us wrong or evil. Just different.

–luna