BDSM is Love

(This was written a while ago, but rereading it sure helps me recenter.)

It’s always hard to figure out who you are as a person, I can’t say that I know everything there is to know about myself, but I am willing to give it a try to at least let you see who I think I am.

As a woman, I know I am exceptionally sexual, I find most bodies to be beautiful, and even though I know I don’t have a lot of self confidence, I do know that my body is beautiful to a lot of people, and I respect that. One day I will love it as such. I am very vocal about thoughts, opinions and things that probably should remain silent as well. I do not know what is proper for some arenas and what should be censored. I find this gets me in trouble quite a bit. I find a lot of things sexually pleasing that would count me as a nympho, oversexed, and demanding.

I am high maintenance. I require a lot of attention all the time, affection being the big attention I need. However I find that small things that show me someone is thinking of me gets me feeling good to. I like to be adored and cherished and shown off. I like to have a reason to dress up and go out, be the center of attention and I revel in that. I like makeup, even if I haven’t gotten into the habit of wearing it all the time, I enjoy going to the hair salon to get my hair done. I like to have my nails well cared for. I like to have foods available that are a bit more expensive when I can. This makes me high maintenance and most of the time, hard to live with.

As a submissive…

I love to make someone happy, I love to rain gifts of affection and trinkets on someone. I do small things of love, which have normally gone overlooked. I like to see a smile on someone’s face for something that I have done to please them. I feel the need for someone else to control most of my life choices, to help me be exactly who I know is in there, and not the lazy person I have become. I am demanding, of attention and so much more. I am stubborn. I am a brat and smart ass. I do not hide these things. But when someone has my love and affection, I will do my best to curb these things, with discipline of course. I think I need a firm hand, even though I will fight it at first. I will barter, and whine… complaining is a pastime for me. I’m rough and wild, both in the bedroom and out. I do have a sensual side, and know how to treat a man softly with love and caring. I’m crafty and always have my mind going as to what I can make. I tend to waste a lot of money that way. I am terrible with my finances. I love animals and care for them as I believe I would children (if I didn’t have to deal with the constant annoyance of children). I love romance, but am not sure if I am a romantic. I believe in true love. I love to feel, sensation and tactile things are awesome for me. I cherish small things. I love symbols= wedding rings, wedding dresses, red roses, wildflowers, collars, the BDSM symbol, anything that declares something if only for me and one other to know.

This is who I believe I am.