BDSM is Love

A number of blogs that I have read recently have mentioned or have delved into the thought that submissives are high maintenance, or that they themselves are high maintenance. What has me thinking is that 1. I am high maintenance and Master has said so 2. I don’t find that to be damaging or destructive to our relationship and 3. generally submissives are high maintenance because of their dependence on another and the mere structure of a D/s relationship.

Primarily my thoughts are on how you can define a submissive in “maintenance levels” and how long into a relationship is it revealed that someone is high maintenance. I guess I could be stepping on people’s toes with this topic, and while I generally don’t like to do that; it is my blog. I feel that without to many exceptions all submissives are high maintenance. It’s a part of what makes us need to submit, released from certain responsibility of care for their own person and other social tasks so that the Dominant may care for them. I feel that independence is somewhat connected to maintenance level of a person; the more independent you are the less high maintenance you will be in a relationship. Now, I consider myself extremely high maintenance. I am needy, clingy, quickly and steadfastly emotionally connected, I’m rather demanding of attention and crave affection. Master has never been unaware of this. He admits that I am high maintenance and while I know there are things he wishes I weren’t so extreme with but he wouldn’t go about trying to change me. He fell in love with who I am at the time we met, and the only changing that should occur is what the individual feels comfortable changing or what is agreed upon behavior modification. As far as revelations about the way a person is, it’s almost always early on that you would notice things that would lead you to believe they are high maintenance. The gentle nudges of attention fetching, the constant desire to be talked to, paid attention to, affection exchanged, so on and so on.

Now, is it the Dominant’s right to try to change the submissive’s maintenance level? How would one go about that? Is this something that when a Dominant commits to a submissive that they just wave off and decide to change immediately, accept the person as they are or pass them on for ‘training’? I don’t know. I’m not educated enough on the subject to really know that one. If anyone else has thoughts, I’m open.

Resulting in my thoughts I asked Master when he knew I was high maintenance. It was a rather quick response to say rather right from the start and that he wouldn’t change a lot of what makes me this way. I could tell he didn’t want to dive right into discussion; I tend to get sensitive when it comes to talking about me. Go figure.

I’m ready for another weekend of working on coding that I didn’t do this week. Master also has a flogging planned for tomorrow We might go to the munch if the weather cooperates. Right now it’s snowing. Our first snow. It just might stick. There are 2 inches on the ground I guess.

–luna