BDSM is Love

If financial stress could get worse I think I’ve felt the worst of it. My car wouldn’t start today. I had to have it towed into the repair shop; they’ll get to it on Monday. My stress is that I’m already in the red for the month with the towing I had last week out of the ditch. I have no one to help me even a little bit and I don’t have a decent paycheck to look forward to on Friday. With this car problem it’s already spent. I don’t need this stress right now.

I wish that work would just hurry up and sign the addendum so that I can start full time. It will definitely ease some tensions and I can actually pay some bills on time for a change. I’m tired of playing beat the bill collector and hiding from the phone. I’m just so tired. I’d work more if I could.

I don’t have a freelance job anymore that was helping to bring in some money. If only I could find some of that… just 3 hours a night on it could potentially help us immensely. Master works so hard and he’s not had a day off for 2 years. I want to be able to give him a day off, no a week off sometime soon. If only our ship would come in.

There’s no reason why we should continue to struggle. We are intelligent people. We can make things happen. I hate that I can’t work more; I’d work all the time if I could and perhaps that is why Master requests only 8 hours a day. I stress so over much about money that it brings Master down, it depresses me and then it affects our dynamic. I wish I could give this up to him, I really do; but I can’t. It’s too important for me right now to take of this.

God help me through this, it’s been too long since I had a break, a stroke of good luck, a promise of a new day coming. I just need something, soon or I shall find dispair in the lowliest things.

–luna