BDSM is Love

This week marked a landmark in my weight loss struggles. I reached my lowest weight in 5 years. I do hope that I didn’t gain it all back but will have to wait till next week to weigh again to know for sure. I was very happy to say the least and hopeful that I will continue to see progress.

I’ve been sleeping poorly lately. Tossing and turning and waking in the middle of the night. I can’t explain why other than dreams that bother me. My best friend has been over 1400 miles away for over 2 years and I’ve seen her one day in all that time. I miss her dearly, very dearly. The dreams I had were of us spending time together like we always did. Chatting, sharing dinner with each other and enjoying just being friends. I woke last night after several dreams seemed so very real. The waking shocked me to reality and I cried. I wanted to weep hard but didn’t want to wake Master. Which I failed in doing anyhow. He comforted me the best he could and I know that there are times he feels very homesick and there is nothing I can do for him either.

I cry as I write this because I’ve never felt so in need of a friend close by to be with. My best friend calls me almost daily and we’ve been known to talk for hours at a time about nothing. We cling to the friendship that has been solid for 17 years. She knows of my life now and respects my choices; even remarking that my behavior has changed and she likes it. What are best friends for if not to embrace us as we are?

I have no other friends nearby that understand me like she does. I wish for it, but have found none.

She has not seen me since I started losing weight. I’m down 45 lbs now and hope to be another 45 lbs in a year. I’m feeling so much happier with myself and I can see the future should be good if I can continue on this road I’m on.

I have dreams; dreams that one day we will see each other again and for that I have no words except that I know it will happen. I have dreamed it so.

–luna