BDSM is Love

Master and I had some wonderful sex last night. I’d go into details, but it was sex people, come on. The BDSM stuff is to come this weekend when I don’t have to get up and go to work the next day. THAT I may share with you if Master allows it. I am very happy today though and feel great. Just a little sexual tension has been released and of course I’m asking for more Master rewarded me with an orgasm and I was just so darn lucky that I got another one later that night!

Okay so a little detail…. when Master pulled my hair last night I felt pain at first but then things dulled and I felt peaceful and wonderful. Like everything was perfect. Perhaps I was getting close to subspace because it felt nothing like the fully aware slut space I get into in similar situations. I’ve never reached subspace with Master and only 2 times overall. I know he weighs the success of play on that aspect sometimes and I wish he wouldn’t. I’m also concerned that once I get there with him, if he’s going to set that as the benchmark for future play.

Master promises bondage and that darn wood paddle this weekend. I think he’s thinking he will get me to bruise with it. Now I’ve no recollection of being pushed that far to get brusing so we shall see how that goes. I’m excited nonetheless. I love that he’s finally gotten a good balance between sexual/sensual and pain play. It’s a delicious combination that any masochist would adore. Play with Master has gotten so very powerful. I’m so connected with him.

I guess I could just say that the ‘no masturbation’ ban has been lifted and has been for some months now. I still don’t have the guts to do it though. The rule still stands that when I do it I have to tell him. I feel like I’d be sneaking behind his back to masturbate when I could just ask him for some fun and he’d usually oblige.

I used to think with my pussy really. I’d masturbate maybe 5 times a day, marathon it to the next time I need a fix or a stress relief or heck, when I was bored it was the first thing I did. Now I can go days without even needing one (wanting one is another matter). When Master and I were long distance I looked forward to sharing that intimate experience with him. Then he came to live with me and I loved being with him in every way sexually. Now I’m in a state that orgasms aren’t that important to me as they used to. If it’s had an effect on our sex life I couldn’t say. It’s not come up in conversation. He does ask on occasion when the last time I masturbated was. This is usually when it’s been several days and I’ve not shown interest in needing one. I don’t know if he’s checking to see if I’d forget to tell him or that I’m having any at all. I’d own up to it if I did of course. I’m very grateful the ban has been lifted though. There’s something about being able to masturbate and then not being allowed to that is so abrupt. A part of me given over to him. Now that he has given it back I don’t know what to do with it. I don’t want to abuse the privilege or he might take it back again. But then I don’t want him to think that it’s not going to get used, because believe me I want to masturbate!

–luna