BDSM is Love

by Raven Shadowborne

This is a topic that comes up very often in discussing BDSM. It is guaranteed to cause some very emotional responses. Many try to link a submissive personality to past child abuse. Saying that a submissive personality is a psychological remnant of the past abuse. Some try to say that BDSM is just a way for survivors to continue in the victim mindset created by that past abuse. Some also say that those who are into BDSM are more likely to abuse both children and adults.

Saying that being submissive due to past abuse just doesn’t completely hold water. I believe that submission is an inborn trait. This inherent trait may preclude the person to being abused or victimized both as a child and an adult. But, from personal experience, I must say that BDSM can give the survivor the tools he/she needs to heal such abuse. By advocating SS&C, learning your own needs and those of your partner, by advocating strength and independent thought, this lifestyle teaches the submissive that she does indeed have control over what happens to her body. That she doesn’t have to be a victim and it is her choice whether or not to submit to a dominant. A victim of abuse had no choice.

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