BDSM is Love

When I was just getting started in BDSM, I didn’t know a lot about safety. I didn’t screen possible play partners and I rarely set up safe calls. I blame it on ignorance or naiveness.

I went off alone late at night for what turned out to really be a booty call. I didn’t know the guy really. I wasn’t 100% comfortable but I didn’t listen to my gut instinct. He read my limits and my experience; which was very little. We talked and then fooled around a little. The first time was okay; I was unimpressed really but thought that my inexperience was what was weighing it all down.

Second call became dangerous. During a rough spanking he hit a no go zone. I have a huge scar on my tailbone, it’s visible and well… it’s a place you don’t hit anyhow. I called an end to the play and he acted like his hand slipped. He apologized. I drove home carefully. The next morning I went to the emergency room because my tailbone swelled to the size of an orange. They had to lance the bruise to relieve the pressure.

Now any woman in her right mind would not go back to this guy. Two weeks later; I did. It wasn’t any better. I didn’t have a safe call. His hand ’slipped’ on my tailbone again. I ended it immediately and drove home.

Thankfully I didn’t have to go back to the doctor. But I did realize something very important. Safety and consensuality aren’t the only things we need to be aware of.

We need to have trust. This man could not be trusted. What he did was partner assault. It was wrong. I know that know. Master gets angry every time I tell this story because I knew him then as friends and he saw me online after I got back from seeing this man and told me never to see him again. I didn’t listen. I should have listened.

Abuse can come in many forms. In this case this man is blacklisted from all the local BDSM groups. I have put out warnings that he does not obey limits to all the dating sites I know. I hope that my story will show others that abuse can happen. I wasn’t going to let it continue.

–luna