So Hot
We got so busy yesterday with friends after work that I didn’t get to blog like I should, I’m making it up now!
Master and I have the same discussions over and over. They are always about my failings when it comes to the sexual ballpark of blowjobs. You hear it on this blog all the time. I have small successes for which I am proud of and then we have the missteps that lead Master down the road that he’s currently on. The successes I hang on to like trophies whenever he brings up the ‘blowjob debate’ to show him that I have progressed a bit and he can’t give up.
A blowjob to him is this intimate sexual connection between us. I think he gets more out of it than sex. I can see how it’s sex for him; how much he enjoys them and why he wants me to take more of an active lustful role in sucking his dick. In some situations it is sex for me too. Like when it is foreplay. I fantasize about foreplay blowjobs quite frequently. The kind that make him really just want to flip me over and plow right in to me, leaving me a quivering mess. We have never had that kind of blow job.
His idea of a blowjob is sitting on the couch with me in front of him on the floor and sucking him off. There is no sex, no touching of the girlie; just him and his dick. To me that’s not sex; it’s service. I am serving his needs. When I am done we will clean up and go back to whatever we were doing. End of event.
Why would it make me want to be sexually turned on during that? How am I supposed to act when it is the main event and I’m getting nothing from it. How do you get something from it? Maybe I’m doing it all wrong. Then again if I start doing it right he’ll want more of them so where does that leave me for sexual things?
Blowjobs make me feel … separate from sex. I feel that way with the reverse too when he eats me out. It has to be a part of sex and not just the main event or I feel he’s been jipped. We have to have sex then or at least allow me to suck him off too. It’s only fair.
I know this lifestyle isn’t about fair. And that’s the core of this issue. I’m constantly thinking that I’m not getting anything from a blowjob so it’s serving his needs. Yes I get the pleasure of saying I served Master but if he wants to call it sex, it has to have some form of sex for me too.
Yeah, I categorize sex much like Bill Clinton, so what. Oral sex really isn’t sex to me. It’s foreplay and on it’s own isn’t enough for squat. Oral sex is something I could do with anyone, if so inclined and have absolutely no connection to them. It’s been the end of a scene where I have received a good share and want to give back. I see nothing wrong in that. It’s just not sex.
Right now the blowjobs he’s getting are mediocre. I know that. He asks for them all the time; constantly. I don’t even have to think for myself anymore, it’s a daily thing. Kneel, play with him, suck him off, spit. I know I’m missing something here but no one has shared with me what I should be doing or how I should be feeling about this. Other than Master. He says I should be turned on to be giving him a blowjob and show some sexual enthusiasm. Great for him, agonizing for me.
I really don’t like being turned on and doing nothing about it. I hate when Master has me on the verge of an orgasm and tells me to wait; or his new game ‘count to 10′. I’ve missed some very good orgasms because I’ve had to wait or countdown. One I lost altogether and when he said I could finally come it took another 4 mins to get me there. Fun game for him, terrible for me. His idea of blowjobs sounds exactly the same. Let’s get luna all stirred up, teased to a frenzy and then go back to the daily grind. And that’s where the block happens. I switch to service mode so that I don’t have to feel sexual and go through the torture of nothing happening after.
Master is quite pissed because stories of past men have had me on the verge of orgasm during a blowjob. The thing that separates those blowjobs (which honestly were few, but I guess he obsesses over them) and Master’s is that they all lead to sex, not the man cumming. I find blowjobs to be quite hot when I know it’s a warm up. Master isn’t like that. Even if it is a blowjob before sex, it has to be a full blowjob and it kinda takes the immediate ‘take me lust’ out of him. It also takes the fizzle out of me too.
We just don’t seem oral sex compatible. And that’s deadly to the relationship. So, who has to change? I do of course. I need blow job behavior lessons. I need fake it till you make it lessons. I need to figure out how to be turned on for a service blow job. Any help out there?
–luna
Sarah
Mara Tudor
Coyote's Kitten
His mija
froggy
I think what you may be missing is the D/s dynamic of oral sex. You describe it as service you are relucant to perform. I believe your Master is looking at putting you in a submissive position (kneeling before him) and exerting his control over you. The control may manifest itself as objectification, and perhaps even humiliation. You seem to articulate disatifaction with the uni-directional nature of the act. It seems to me that you are over-thinking while you are on your knees. There is more going on than a simple sex act.You mind is racing off intoo many other directions, perhaps instead you should let go of the mental baggage and stay in the moment. Take the time to focus on your Master, focus on his reactions and not yourself. You are not providing a discount service, you are worshipping from the altar of your submission.Its not a blow-job, get rid of the word "job" it signifies work. You are instead performing the act of cock-worshipping. While on your knees in front of the One you have submitted to you are in the temple.Clear your mind of all other things, let go of your inhibitions.If you want ideas or lessons, here's a place to start http://dva.gbrit.com/~dougadams/blowjob_training.php
i can tell you that i love, and always have, giving a blow job. i'm not sure if it's the fact that what i'm doing is turning him on so much, and i enjoy that, it makes me hotter and wetter.. i could easily do that and not get anything in the way of gratification to me. spit? never, well not anymore, not since Master came along, now i love it, and woudl never spit his cum out, i'm proud of the fact that i can swallow it, and i've been allowed to. Maybe it's your technique? i really get into it, and enjoy it, and i think the fact that he is playing with my hair, and responding with words, moans, thrusts, makes me even hotter, if he was just laying there not saying a word, or very little, i don't think i would get as wet as i do from giving a blow job.good luckred
i'm used in this particular more frequently than any other. i'm often on my knees in front of the couch sucking Master's cock, then sent away to finish dinner or chores. i'm quite orally fixated so my experiences are going to be vastly different than yours. i find tremendous satisifaction in giving that blow job even when i'm not granted my own orgasm in the end.Perhaps you can turn that "torture of nothing happening after" into a way of feeding your masochism. i imagine it might feed your Master's sadism - i know it does mine. Deprivation is one of my Master's favorite torture tools and it works on completely different levels for me than does physical pain. your suffereing is for His pleasure - perhaps that can help you fake till you make it. If not, it may provide a mantra to help as well.A while back, i noticed my connection to Master during these service blow jobs was much more intimate when He touched me more. Master loves to talk to me when i'm sucking His cock and that provides a nice connection, however; when He pets my head and face, or plays with my hair, or even slaps me a bit during a blow job, the intimacy feels so much stronger to me. Does that mean, Master does that all the time, of course not; however when He does it's almost magical to me even when i'm left highly turned on to fix dinner…. Good luck.
might not be able to get into all of that here but i remember being in your place but it was so long ago–i experimented way too early–i only vaguely recall the just complete lack of interest i had in oral sex. it was just a necessary build up to get what i wanted which was the "plowing." then one summer the boyfriend of the moment caught me on a day when intercourse just wasn't possible and kept working me up. it got so bad i begged to give him a blowjob just to release some of the tension and all that frustration was totally focused on making him cum. my brain focused on enjoying his orgasm which for some reason triggered my own. you are providing a service, albeit a sexual one, but it's one of the rare moments that we as submissives/slaves do have a little bit of control over making our Sirs/Masters/Daddies smile. knowing that i can do something for Him that brings so much pleasure to Him gets me off even if nothing else happens to me physically. that rarely is the case, the men i have dated have felt a need to touch something on me (cheek, hair, back, something) while we are in the act and that physical sensation keeps things charged for me as well. that and i relish the moan that comes well when He cums. that can keep a happy girl smile on my face for a while. i've babbled and don't think i may have relayed exactly what i wanted to but feel free to contact me if you want to talk about it some more.
I was not very good at giving Master a blow job at first either. He had me practice on a vibrator to get past the gag reflex , and i am not talking about deep throating here. I just could not do it at first.
Now well i enjoy sucking his cock almost as much as he likes me to. I love to feel or hear just the slightest thing from Master and know that i am pleasing him. It gets me excited and i find after that i get right into it.
It certainly is not something that everyone can do or enjoy doing. It is not something you can learn to do good right away. It took me some time to get past that hurtle so i know somewhat how you feel
Take care
rose
Hey!
Been a bit in the same boat… See, the this is i realized, that you *aren't* supposed to get release/orgasm. The point of the entire blowjob thing is for you *to* get turned on by it, please him by showing your interest in giving him the pleasure of seeing you frustrated. It doesn't matter there is no point to it to you. Let go! Most famously, "let go and let Master". Trust him, there *is* a point to it and it might spoil it to tell you.
It is up to him when you get release, right? What if this blow job is really foreplay, but he gets so turned off from you not being really interested that he just wants to cum and leave it at that?
Sexual frustration isn't always nice, but can be a turn on by itself. To me, it's a from of bondage.
Hope that might help…
i definately feel your pain in this realm. i, too, struggled with the "i'm not getting anything in the end" feeling when it came time to go down on Master. He uses me more this way than any other and sometimes it just gets old and stale. However, the connection i have picked up on during these times is priceless. i feel there is no more intimate act, no act that brings us closer than me between His legs with His cock in my mouth. And there is a nagging little voice inside my head that says, "now when do *i* get paid?!" but when it's all over and i'm charged up and ready to go, it's so very bittersweet to feel the twinges in my pink parts directly related to His sexual gratification. And do you know what i am learning to do? Ask for permission to masturbate and i make myself cum when i need to. Connect within the act itself and connect again when i ask for permission to masturbate and He grants it. i don't know if that makes sense to you or not. :) all i really wanted to say was i feel you and i hope that you are able to get past this as i am learning to do and enjoy the time spent pleasing Him in the most intimate of ways. :) P.S. i am on a weight loss journey of my own. i wish you all the luck in the world with yours. i know you can do it…it's not easy but it will get easIER.
i used to have some of the same thought processes about oral. Although my favorite pasttime with Master IS oral sex, i too would spend half the time wondering when i was going to get paid. But i also love to do it so in that is where i get my gratification, to a degree. There is no better gift to give ANY man than a blow job, in my opinion. Translate that thought process into this dynamic and it's magnifies greatly. There is no better gift for me to give my Master than oral; He loves it (more than sex itself) and i love being the one that gives Him this ultimate pleasure. And it's in that where i get my proverbial rocks off…there is no hotter scenario in my mind than kneeling between Master's legs with His hard cock between my lips. There is no more of an intimate act, there is no way to get any closer to another human being than to have their raw, hard, pumped up, hormonal sex pummeling my mouth. :) And frankly, it's just hot. How do i get mine? i rarely do and it is frustrating but i've learned something. If He doesn't give it or offer it, i ask for it. i need a release sometimes. And in there comes two connections, if you will indulge me. There is the connection created within the actual act itself and again when i've asked for permission to masturbate/cum and He grants me that permission. i don't know if this helps but i know it helps me to know that there are others out there that sometimes share my same thoughts and feelings. i wish you luck in finding your happy place and peace with oral sex and your Master. It truly can be a beautiful experience every single time if you relax and allow yourself to connect with your Master in those moments.
(i know, easier said than done sometimes)also wanted to say good luck with your new goal for weight loss. i have been on my journey for some time and would love to read about your progress and cheer you on. :)