BDSM is Love

I don’t think I’m getting decent sleep. I’m feeling tired long before my bedtime and I’m not functioning well during the day. I’ve become disoriented and spacey at work. I feel like I’m barely surviving the drive to and from work. Every day this week just feels like it’s dragging on. I don’t know why I’m not sleeping well. I go to bed and get up at the same times, there’s no change there. I don’t have any stress to worry about; for once we have money to last us till next payday without having to pinch pennies. The St John’s Wart I’ve been taking has helped my emotional state immensely and I’m feeling happier. I’d feel happier now if only I had the energy to smile.

Master is worried. I know I’m troubling him. I wish I could understand and fix whatever the problem is. I’d love to be this sexy slut that comes home to serve him in whatever fashion he wants, but right now all I want to do is crawl into bed and move on to the next day.

I hope this fades by the extended weekend I have. Master and I are going to a hotel. We got a whirlpool suite and we are going to enjoy each other as much and as often as we can. There is a munch and then play party on Saturday that I know we will enjoy and of course will be horny as hell when we get back to the room. It should be grand fun. If only I could shake this feeling.

Maybe it means I go to bed early the rest of this week; maybe it means a sleeping pill to help regulate my sleep cycle. I dunno.

My diet change is kinda going. I’ve not done nearly enough exercise for what I want to be doing for this first week, and my calories are on the high side, but what can you say. It’s the first week and right now it’s just to see where I’m at before I change things. I’ve been keeping a daily log of how I think the day went and my calories and exercise. I’m already 20 mins behind what I wanted to be. That means 30 mins tomorrow. I need to get up early to get going on it.

I’m being pretty negative right now and that’s not good for me. Master is almost to the point of forbidding it.  I have no reason to think this way. I’ve got so much good in my life that there should be no room for bad thoughts.

As Master always says with a glint in his eye, he’s the best man I’ve ever had because he knows how to take care of me. That’s so true. I’m the happiest I’ve been in a long time. These day to day challenges aught to fade and then I’ll be on my way.