BDSM is Love

This week we talked about whether BDSM can be considered a sexual orientation. Here’s what you said:

this girl says:

Hi Luna.

I think so. BDSM is about what turns us on, our wildest, darkest fantasies and desires and it crosses over with sex so much. I think its more appropriate to call it a sexual orientation than a lifestyle for instance. I dont like the word lifestyle, i dont think its healthy for BDSM to be your main drive in life I think there still needs to be other things a well - a healthy balance.

BDSM is what turns me on, its my fantasies and fun. So yeah i suppose it is a sexual orientation xx.

juan spadlin says:

sure … what else?
a hobby? a religion?

luna says:

I’ve recently been of the volition that sexual orientation can not only describe your gender specific sexual identity but also the differences in how you enjoy sex. For example, someone with an extreme but healthy fetish would have that fetish as a requirement for sex, just as being heterosexual, homosexual or bisexual is an identifier for each person. For someone such as myself, sex isn’t fulfilling if it does not have any elements of power exchange or SM. I do not get the same enjoyment from regular sex than I do with Power sex. This is not to say that I can’t have regular sex, it’s just my preference is Power Exchange and SM.

Defining sexual orientation is not an easy task because as the years progress, sexologists have found more and more paraphilias and personal sexual choices to include into the definition.

My choice to be submissive is not part of my sexual orientation, but a part of my lifestyle choice. I have always been able to keep those two separate. It is perhaps why I feel I could top someone in bed without difficulty but can not be Dominant outside the bedroom.

Resources about sexual orientation:

Sexual Orientation at Wikipedia

Defining Sexual Orientation

Sado-Masochism Might be ‘Sexual Orientation’

3rd Sex?