Topping
From My Bottom Smarts
What do you believe constitutes “topping from the bottom?” Have you or your partner ever done this? If so, how was the situation handled? Are there occasions where “topping from the bottom” is acceptable or even desirable?
My definition of topping from the bottom is when the submissive begins to instruct the dominant during an exchange. It could be as simple as overriding instructions to take the next exit to declining to do something sexual.
Sadly I do this a lot and it gets very frustrating for Master. Usually this involves a very stern look, but it could lead to more punishment for bad behavior. I do have to do my proper apology also. It’s very humiliating to have to do this in public places.
There could be occasions where topping from the bottom is acceptable and those are times where the submissive is more experienced than the dominant and he has asked for instructions on how to do something. Also in rare occasions where the dominant is the masochist, it is almost always needed to top from the bottom so that the dominant gets what they need from the submissive who would be causing the desired pain.
–luna
froggy
His mija
Mara Tudor
Richard
Quixoni
I think we all need to be careful not to top from the bottom, but we all do it, too. The problem can often be one of definitions. Is it topping from the bottom when I tell him that he’s tied me too tight? When I tell him that it’s very late and I need to get to sleep so I can get up for work in the morning? When I tell him that I’m sensitive tonight so he shouldn’t use the thin rattan cane but the fat one?
I do like the idea of the formal apology, however. Very good suggestion.
luna replied on December 31st, 2007 1:55 pm:
Well true, I think that the definition is different for each relationship just like the terms submissive and slave are different. For me your examples would not all be topping situations.
I’ll be happy to tell Master that you like the formal apology. For me… the verdict is still out.