BDSM is Love

I’ve come to the understanding that I am a blog addict. Master mentions all the time that I am constantly reading blogs. With ease I have them all in my RSS reader so that I don’t have to click the 50+ links on my sidebar everyday. The new information comes to me. Now most of the time I get to do this reading once a day, sometimes twice and I find interesting tidbits of information, topics of discussion and ideas for my own thinking every time I turn the page.

Yet none of it really finds it’s place here. I think of fabulous topics I’d like to explore and they never get drafted. I want to make full post replies to posts I’ve read somewhere else but I never do. I really can’t explain why this is. I’m constantly working on my own thoughts and opinions, wouldn’t it be logical to try to incorporate what others are saying into my thought process and talk about them here?

I will work on focusing this blog more on myself and my thoughts, but I know that the posts I read everyday help jog those memories. I’m going to start a list here on the blog of topics that I’d like to write on, posts I really liked and things I’ve seen that I want to comment on. It will start mainly as my own private list, but I think it would be really neat to have a page of such information available to others. So, here’s to a starting point, the launching pad of what might turn out to be a useful tool in my training.

Speaking of training, Master has added more writing to my already full plate. Not that I mind really. He got me a beautiful leather journal for me to keep my thoughts in. Twice a week I am to write in it about the current training I am under, how I think I am progressing and other very personal thoughts. These aren’t even required to be shared with him. I have yet to crack open the cover other than to write my name in it, so I haven’t realized how daunting of a task this is going to be.

He’s hoping that this journal will help focus my efforts and redefine the line between obedience and laziness. I’ve gotten lazy and now it’s time to see that and step up the work and continue on the road to changing for the better. I’m already feeling good about this new shift in training. I look forward to Master’s strict discipline and his loving hand when I am good.

I’ve made a huge leap in my life this week. The things I’ve hung on to for no good reason from my past relationship are now in the trash. The pictures and love letters, the symbolic wedding certificate and unity candle. My bouquet and other memorabilia are all gone. I don’t know if I will miss any of it, but I felt it was time to move on from past things and one day I’ll be able to legally move on. It’s just one more example of who I am now and who I no longer want to be.

–luna