BDSM is Love

The goals of any submissive are as varied as the relationship as to which they tend. I’ve been given the task of naming the goals I currently have within my submission and then explain how I plan on working towards them. A daunting task indeed! I’ve really not given it much thought honestly before now and the task ahead puts a bit of pressure for me to define myself a bit and what I want. After I figure out my goals I have to realize whether or not it’s realistic, how I plan to go about it and what I think it will bring to the relationship.This task is a lot like the Code of Ethics I began writing. My Code is not as detailed as this is expected to be, but it is a stepping off point for me. I’m not sure if I ever showed you this code. I will go through it point by point and explain how it fits into my goals as a submissive.

I will endeavor to express my needs and desires openly with Master without fear of reaction or consequences.

I currently have issues with expressing all that needs expressing when it comes to sharing with Master. I tend to keep a lot of thoughts to myself when I know that I have brought it up too much, he has expressed that he’s heard it before or when it is troubling me; but not in a big way. I guess I perceive it as a way to keep him from being overburdened with all the baggage I bring with me and the wasteful fretting I do.

When it comes to sexual or sensual desires I’ve been a bit more open about what I want. This isn’t easy. I constantly feel that I need to just be available for you and if you want to make me come or have me in my favorite positions then you would just do it. I’m afraid that I might suggest something that you wouldn’t like to do and a part of me sees asking for what I want sexually as controlling your desires.

Overall I need to not be afraid of your response. I have seen and felt your wrath and I’d hate to bring it upon myself. I know that you can control your reactions and I shouldn’t be afraid as I used to be with others. It’s sort of like, “Don’t rock the boat.” If I say something and you get upset it disrupts are day/moment/relationship and I would hate for that to happen; however I know that you want to be kept informed of things for the betterment of the relationship. This is where I feel caught. I’m caught between sharing things and changing things and the talking would lead to better things. One never knows.

I will take great care about my appearance as it always reflects on Master even in vanilla settings where they do not know the dynamic exists.

I have a goal of caring for my body more than I do now. I want to make sure that I have a routine in place to care for myself someday. I want to make sure I don’t leave the house in anything that you wouldn’t approve of my wearing, I want to make sure my hair looks as best it should and my make up is just right for you at all times. This is a goal that is in progress but I know that there are days that I slack at my hair especially.

I want to be that jewel upon your arm that all people look to you; that feeling of pride in what you own for appearance alone, as that is what people will notice first. I know that in previous relationships it was a sense of shock and pity that people looked. I want the glances now to be admiration and jealousy. I hope to someday play my part in that.

Remaining healthy is very important to the health of our relationship. I will continue to work towards loosing weight and getting active until that time he feels I have reached my ultimate goal.

You put a rule out when I started dieting. I wasn’t to quit. Right now I don’t believe I’ve quit, but it isn’t as present as it could be. I’d like to work towards a healthy life with you. I know that if I were at a normal weight I’d have more energy and feel happier. I would want to do more with you sexually.

I want to change the way I eat so that I watch more what goes in my mouth and that I make smart choices. I desire to know that the food I put inside me is helping me stay healthy and live longer with you. I will not do anything to jeopardize our life together.

I will find beauty in serving Master in even the smallest things.

The smallest things. Typically these things are making coffee or fetching the remote. They just seem so mundane to be considered service to you. I think it would be best if I concentrate on the larger service issues before I got to the small ones, in fact, they may even fit into place once I develop my mindset on the big ones. Who knows?

Seeking guidance from other more experienced submissives is acceptable and encouraged when no answers can be found elsewhere.

You may be wondering why this is a part of my goals, but I know exactly what this is. If I want to be the best submissive for you, I have to know and experience as much as I can. I learn from reading other people’s blogs and sites; I chat with others and with these short mentoring sessions I can pick up something that would enhance our lives and you would love it. It’s a part of my creativity and desire to learn I think.

My body is not my own and I will offer it to Master as frequently as I can; for his pleasure and sexual needs.

I admit this is a hard one for me but one I would like to excel at in the near future. I want to be able to sense your needs and offer myself without your needing to ask me. I also want to be more pliable when the desire arises for you to take me by objectification or force.

Master’s needs are a priority and I will strive to ensure his desires are met in an appropriate and timely manner.

The importance of this one is paramount to all the others falling into place. If I don’t see your needs as priority to mine or someone else’s then why would we even have a D/s relationship to begin with? You are my Master and I will strive to make you happy as often as possible, keeping your needs above my own. I hope that this will become a mantra unto which I live my life at your feet.

I shall work hard towards learning and making habit the rules that Master sets out for me.

This one is kinda like saying that no matter what you give me as rules I will continue to try and follow them. I will try to grow and develop into the person you wish to have serve you always. That is my goal. I will change my behavior and strengthen my skills for you Master.

After all that I still think I have a long way to go. I’ve sorted out the goals I have and I know that I want to develop them, but truthfully, without your help I can not accomplish them. You are the person that I need around so that I can reach my goals, nothing more.

–luna