BDSM is Love

As we both already know, I am not naturally submissive. I don’t have the need to serve and please everyone all the time and worst of all I don’t stay in the right mindset to please you all the time either. It’s a balancing act of love and trust and desire for you that brings me to my knees, trembling to do your every command. The extreme side of this service is rare for you and I know that you’d love to see me in this role more often. I think that I could be there with a lot of hard mental work. Right now that mindset takes a lot out of me; exhausts me and I honestly don’t try to get there very frequently. The docile pleasing mindset is easier to come by with me, it feeds my soul when I am in this mood. What I’m going to try to pinpoint in this assignment is what the triggers are for me to put me in that mindset. I have to admit I’ve really not tested these, so they may not work all of the time. I do know that at some point in the past these things have put me there and you have been the instrument of their happenings. I’m sure you can bring me there again and again.

There’s no real trick to bring me to my subbie space. There are steps though that I know would help me and that’s what this is all about. The first one and probably the hardest is to get me to stop thinking and worrying about things I can not change. I know you are shaking your head on this one and I know that it’s almost impossible to do that; but it has been done and can be done again. Stress is a normal part of my life; although it shouldn’t be. I worry about anything and everything. When I can set all that aside I feel freer to relax and enjoy who I am. And in that time is the perfect space for my submission to come out more often. I don’t have any suggestions as to how to get me to relax and stop worrying. I’m certain that when there is less to worry about (and there is less now than there was last month) I feel more open to feeling more, being more and having you pleased more often. There is a way.

The next few things are times when I have gone from worry-wart luna to submissive slut just in the span of the activity. Perhaps they will work again and I’d be happy to try anything to show you my true side; the submissive you fell for.

My favorite has always been subbie pillow time. It makes me feel so submissive, so special to you when I sit on my pillow at your feet. Perhaps I need more time at your feet. You know that I have chosen times to just come sit by you while you are working and it makes me feel so good to look up at you and know you will be smiling down at me. I like the idea of sitting and watching TV that way but have never thought of it at the moment it is going on. Suggesting it more often might help my mindset.

I also feel more submissive when you are giving me directions; whether it is just a request for more coffee or a command in play I feel your power over me more than other times. It’s even more focused when I remember to reply to you properly. Speech training has always been interesting to me and I appreciate all the required phrases you have me doing.

When it comes to play I have a few triggers that put me in different spaces that are advantageous to my submissiveness. One is very aggressive play usually with a small amount of warm up and you are at your most fierce. I feel very submissive to you then. Another is when the play is very sexual and you are teasing me slowly. I feel under your whim and can usually get to slut submissiveness then. Lastly is when I feel like an object and am humiliated and used. Normally you are more vocal during this, and you make me repeat phrases. These are all very powerful times for me.

While I can’t be sure just when my mind will be set just right I know that with work and constant practice I will be able to slip into the right mindset easier and stay there longer. From a rarity to routine, that’s my goal so that one day it won’t be a mindset change, it will be a full life change.

–luna