BDSM is Love

Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments and thoughts on Soul Mates in my Thursday Question this week. I loved reading each and every one!

My idea of soul mates really did come from fantasy romance novels as a teenager. I loved the idea of a man to come sweep me off my feet and match every single one of my personality traits with a complimentary one, to always have things to talk about, do together and be with each other. I thought that I had that with my ex husband.

It was a whirlwind romance, fantastical in the beginning. We couldn’t get enough of each other’s attention and desired each other from the start. This did fade and when the decision came to marry I had so many friends and family members question our decision. Yes, we were madly in love. We agreed to a long engagement to appease the family and thought our love would never die.

Yes it lasted awhile, but then all the things that annoyed me about him to begin with that I thought were going to stop bothering me after we got married began to fracture the relationship. We were halves of a whole. Neither of us could say we were complete as an individual. This was our downfall. I felt that I was doing all of the work to keep the relationship alive.

Love for me is like a fire, you have to feed it to bring about a warm enough flame. Our passion was a roaring fire, but when left untended it went out.

I hated him, he kept me from doing all the things I wanted to, I felt stuck with him. I was unhappy and couldn’t see why I had loved him to begin with. It was passion, yes and when desperate for love you will cling to passion instead of finding the love. My friends and family spoke again and finally I heard them. I pleaded, “Why didn’t you tell me?” In truth, they had. I refused to listen to them because I thought that I had enough worldly knowledge to know what I wanted in life. I learned a painful lesson.

Now that I’m with Master I have learned a lot about myself as an individual. I am a whole person. I do not NEED Master to live. I WANT Master. He keeps me grounded and helps enhance myself. We keep the fire kindled and stoke it when we really want to turn up the heat but it has never gone out and we don’t intend on letting it. We both must feed the flames.

I would like to think that soul mates are people who are so attuned with each other that they know when it’s their turn to feed the fire. It’s nothing about completing the other person but how much that other person brings the fire’s glow to your face. Master and I work together on our love and the passion will linger because we want it to. Neither is doing more work than the other.

We may be soul mates or we may not be. It matters not. What does matter is that our fire never goes out and we share the duties of keeping it alive. This is the true love we have for each other.

–luna