BDSM is Love

I complain… a lot. Every time something is suggested or commanded I have to come back with a why, or I don’t feel like it or other some such reason. I’m sure for me that complaining is an active part of my everyday life. It’s an attempt at control. I don’t like the request or command and so I try to convince him to change his mind since I don’t want to change mine. It’s topping from the bottom pure and simple.

And it has to stop. Master has said just recently that it’s a new part of my training to commence now. He wants me to stop questioning him and just do it. It’s a part of building trust and showing commitment and basic submission. It’s going to be a hard process. I’ve gotten quite accustomed to getting my own way. Now that my own way is no longer top priority I have to change my behavior.

It’s a good thing, no doubt about it. I want to be unquestioning and obedient. I hate seeing his face when I ask him why he wants me to do such and such or whining about doing something right now, rather than later on. I really have no reason to put it off or groan about it anyhow, it’s a convenience thing.

So, I’m starting a new change and it’s going to be a difficult road. Stop complaining, just do it. Master has my best interests at heart, he knows how to care for me better than I do. Just embrace his decisions; it’s what I want anyhow. Surrender to his will. Peace will result.

–luna