BDSM is Love

It feels good to see Master getting his thoughts sorted out and that he has honored me by posting here. I’m so proud that he has claimed me and is helping me become who I’ve always wanted to be; comfortable in myself.

My exercise routine has just started but knowing that if I don’t exercise everyday (M-F) I will be paying for it on Sunday is a bit of a motivation, even if the actual exercise stinks. I have no clue what he would/will do when I fail at accomplishing this. I’m not wanting to find out, but it’s inevitable. I did 20 minutes tonight and 20 last night. I have 35 minutes to go yet and 2 more days to do it in. I know I can do that.

Master set a new rule that hasn’t really been talked about and I thought he was kidding at first. I thought it was just silly. I have to keep my gas tank at least half full all of the time. I read someone else post of this idea and when I mentioned it to him, the look on his face was one of “what a good idea!” Thus the new rule was born. It’s not an easy one to keep up. I’m constantly checking my tank now whenever I stop somewhere in case I have to get gas before going somewhere else. But I definitely feel his ownership of me every time I fill up. Now even when I fill the tank isn’t in my control, but his.

As to the speech training; Master is always been working on my polite behavior and now he wants my speech to be defered to his judgment. As he described in his last post, my statement in the form of a question has to go. On a very common occasion I’d say something like, “I’m going to the store, would you like to come Master?” Uh-huh. I’ve already decided for him that I’m going to the store. That of course has to change. It now becomes, “May I go to the store Master? We have a few things we need. Would you like to go too?” In this situation he knows I’d like to go to the store to get some things, but also that he has the final say and can decide that I stay home instead. This change is not easy and I’m stopping myself frequently to correct my thoughts.

He has other ideas of what he’d like from my speech and mannerisms regarding when I talk but as those are developed I’m sure I will be informed.

Last Sunday I had my first atonement for the week’s first infraction and use of the punishment book. I was extremely disrespectful of Master at one point last week and that caused the mark. He had me sit in the corner for a time. It was quite annoying. I now remember why I hated corner time as a child. You get ignored. Solitude is not pleasant when it’s forced.

–luna