BDSM is Love

We’ve been planning to evolve the current munch group into a better more community friendly group lately and with that comes a lot of brainstorming sessions, a lot of work and writing and planning, policy work, topic ideas and dreams of being able to do it all and succeed. The current group as it stands is pretty quiet and I believe it is dying. On Yahoo Groups not a whole lot can be done. The group is listed as adult so it’s not searchable, which means you can’t see it in search engines or through Yahoo Groups. We are working on a website that would host the entire group, the event calendar, forums and resources all there for group use and development. We just have to breathe life into it.

This weekend we announce the new name and shift from Yahoo to the new website shortly after. Our munches will be moving to a private meeting room at a hotel and we will be able to have discussion topics, play games, raffles and door prizes and so much more planned. I hope that this will strengthen the group and watch it grow.

I can’t help but be nervous that this won’t work and the group dies completely. I’m also excited to be able to have an active role and help energize a group closer to us where we can hopefully develop a core group of people we can trust and be friends with, ones that will encourage more growth and life to the group. March 22nd we officially become NEIPEX or North East Iowa Power EXchange. It’s exciting!

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Master and I tried playing last night. I was not in a good headspace and all I felt was pain, none of it was good so I was trying hard to just be there for Master and endure the pain for his pleasure. Those damn clover clamps came out and they hurt, I’ve spoken to that before but this time he wanted to add weights to it. He weighed them down and tugged on them. As with every time I’ve worn those clamps I cried buckets. Master could see this was going nowhere. He called a halt and we went into the bedroom to lay down.

I felt like a failure that I couldn’t please him, that I couldn’t make the pain a good pain. I just wanted to curl up and die. I didn’t have the right words to say anything and so we laid there in silence. For a long time. We just were.