BDSM is Love

If you’ve been reading my blog you know that I St John’s Wart has been keeping my moods in check and balancing out the lows and highs so that I’m happier longer and less stressed with situations that I can’t change. I stopped taking them about 3 weeks ago without telling Master.

Since then there has been a huge negative impact on our sex life. I’m less interested and energetic for sex, I never suggest it on my own and Master has noticed I’ve gotten very lazy with my sex play. I certain that part of the issue is the fact that I’ve stopped taking the supplement. I’ve not taken my mulitvitamin either. I just didn’t see the need or didn’t know if it was working. I guess it was.

So, I admitted to him that I had stopped taking them. He was really disappointed that I had stopped taking them without telling him. I remember now, better late than never, that he ordered me to take them. This has been put in the book. I’ll be paying for this lapse on Sunday.

Master has been really down lately and last night he crashed. It was all because of my lack of sexual energy lately. I’ve promised him a spontaneous blow job for over a week now. Why I’ve not done it, I have not reason. I just haven’t. It’s not that I don’t want Master, he is so very hot and sexy and exudes maleness that attracts me to just look at him when he doesn’t know it. I love him so much and love that his presence is so powerful for me.

And the sex desire has nothing to do with my lack of desire for him. Sex with him is the most powerful, hyper exciting experiences I’ve ever had. Our sexual energy is so intoxicating. I lose track of time and can only see him and our existence. It’s a hot experience every time.

Without these supplements I don’t have interest in anything at all. I don’t care about my diet, I have no desire to work, I’m only barely meeting my rules and requirements for Master and would much rather sleep than do anything once I get home from work.

Well, of course that has to change. I’ve promised Master I would start taking the supplements again and have taken my first dose this morning. I expect that it will take about a week to build up the right level in order to adjust my moods. I know he wants more from me sexually and I want to give it to him.

Sex should be fun, exciting and desirable. I am going to get that back. I promise not to break my rules again. I love you Master, I’m sorry I’ve added so much stress to your life lately.

Master has decided that he would like to work out and lose some weight with me. He’s been uphappy with the weight he’s gained since being here. He wants the body back he had when he stepped of the plane. Strong shoulders, muscular arms, smooth chest and the hint of a 6-pack. I saw him without a shirt the first time and totally couldn’t believe that this hunk of man wanted me! So, we get to start restructuring what food is in the home and what we eat for meals. This aught to be an adventure. He’s going to exercise today while I’m at work. I have to exercise when I get home. Here’s to working together to change our unhealthy habits!

–luna