Keeping It Real: Fakers and Wannabe Lifestylers
So you’ve had a pretty nice talk with someone on chat and then they say something that doesn’t jibe with you. Does it lead you straight to think that this person is a wannabe? How do you know? There are several times that I’ve had to step back and ask myself is this person just new or are they an online pretender?
I’ve read several blogs that turned out not to be real lifestylers. They spun a good tale, but there were red flags here and there. People being bound way too long, unreal positions or situations that just didn’t set well for SSC or RACK beliefs. Their story was one to ’safely’ explore what may have been a dark dream that would never be realized.
We can see fakers and wannabes in munch groups too. Some of them never commit to coming to a munch, they lurk because they want to feel like they belong but deep inside they know they can’t. Then there are wannabes that just don’t have the guts to make it real for them.
What is real anyhow? How real do you have to be before you are real? There’s no guide stick really. No valid one anyhow. The only thing we have is the judgment of others. You could be in this lifestyle part time but because someone else feels that you have to see your partner every weekend and play hard and fast all the time that you aren’t real, that you are a faker or wanna be. Other will say that you can only be real if you are 24/7 live in and follow a strict order of things. To them, anything else is fake.
The point I’m trying to make is that you are as real as you can be. If your only ability to explore your desires is online chat rooms then do it. The real people are those that feel real inside. If you have a story to tell, tell the truth. Keep the fantasy out of it.
Wannabes are another matter. They are good at pulling the fleece over your eyes. They pretend really well. The dangerous ones can really do some damage to those newbies that are longing for something to cling to. If those of us who feel real, tell it real then those newbies will have something solid to stand on.
It’s important that we help newbies learn about each of our unique lives and why each relationship is different. I try very hard here to tell the real story of my life as Master’s submissive. I’ve never gotten a harsh comment about how I’m fake or a wannabe or I’m not really living it. I hope I never get it.
Let’s take a moment to support all of our friends out there that are living it, in whatever capacity they can. Long Distance, occasional partners, poly, Master/slave, single or owned we all find a voice to our kinky selves. Keep it true to yourselves.
–luna
Squeezeplay
pinkroses521
mara tudor
luna
I can’t imagine you getting an ugly comment, you have always been very courteous, considerate and informational - I like your blog a lot
I have to admit sometimes I DO enjoy reading the blogs that are just obviously showing their talent in writing fictional erotica, but I am shying away from some of the ones that have a lot of “shock” value because of the rude and defensive comments and posts that always follow; I like the idea that I am not alone in my sexuality, etc., and that’s one of the main reasons I like reading other’s blogs - and yes, I can learn a few things too 
Thank you Luna for the good read!
babys last blog post..Dancing Days are Here Again
luna replied on May 21st, 2008 9:11 am:
Thank you baby, you are very kind. I like fictional blogs too as long as that’s how they are selling it. If they come off as saying this is my real life and then red flags fly up everywhere that’s another story ;P
I encounter a huge number of “wannabe Masters” via my sites. They say how lucky Master is and how they wish they had a lady like me. But I doubt they’d ever want to go the distance and actually do the hard work required to become a good Master, let alone go out and meet with potential submissives.
Too many of them just want to be online Doms and never move onto real life. I just stay away from them. What do they get out of it, I wonder?
my issue is with people who immediately label a newbie as a wannabe, without attempting to learn where that person is coming from or their desires. they say because this person isn’t part of a group, a munch, or other factions that surely they can’t be real. this lifestyle tends to be rather cliquish, and that can put so many well intentioned people off or give them a lot of wrong ideas.
lolidolls last blog post..Held tight