BDSM Netiquette
Etiquette is a code of behavior or a set of social rules that govern what we do. Within a BDSM context there are a lot more defined rules than in other settings or situations. I think a lot of what we do is with a set of rules. They are either posted or implied but they are always there.
Take munches for example. You know that most munches are in public places so dressing in fetish clothing is frowned upon. Then relationships have protocol established. Finally each person has a form of social etiquette that they follow. But what about the internet? Is there an etiquette that we as BDSM participants follow?
I think there is. Those people in chat rooms act differently than those I’ve met just through this blog, and then there is a different etiquette on social networks like FetLife, CollarMe and Alt. Care to guess which one seems the most fantastical?
Chat room netiquette seems far more fantasy-like than other areas of the web. All the submissives are spouting Sirs and Ma’ams at everyone who comes in with a Capitalized name. There are glorified fancy ’serves’ that are long enough for me to go get my own drink, drink it, and wash the cup afterwards. It’s living the dream. I used to live in the dream. It was great fun, but I’m certain now that I couldn’t go back. It’s too much fake for me.
Blog etiquette is something else that is different and has very extreme forms. One is kind conversation in response to posts. I tend to get the most of this kind of protocol. It’s respectful and real. Then there is raw sexual energy; usually from pictures. Lastly I’ve seen the horrible comments of some blogs where etiquette is forgotten completely.
I think it would be nice to have an established set of rules for treating people online. I wish there were a way to remind people when they cross those lines. It aggravates me when I see disrespect online. It’s like people aren’t real and so they don’t have to be treated like human beings? I just don’t get it.
Now what about commenting on blogs. Do you feel that every blog post should be commented on? Do you enjoy comments and feel like you aren’t good at blogging if you don’t get comments? What about links? If someone links to you do you have a problem with it if they never comment on your blog after that?
–luna
thisgirl
bahar
Beth
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When I picked out what I wanted in the living room, I went...
I like getting comments, but I get very few. I only rarely leave comments on other blogs - only if I really feel I have something to add to the conversation or want to compliment the blogger do I speak up. Of course, if I commented more maybe I’d get more comments.
Nadias last blog post..To Be Announced… New Site
I love getting comments on my blog, although I don’t have a formal one like you do (something I need to do). I try to comment on blogs as often as possible, but only when I have something to add and don’t get drowned out by all the other comments!
So far as chat room etiquette and “living the dream” — I agree. It’s something I can’t get into anymore since I’ve moved in with Master. It just seems silly. I still do it with a few people though, mostly lonely fans of my website who’re too shy to ever go out and actually meet a real sub. I like to think that I’m helping to build up their confidence but it could be a lost cause.
I like getting and also leaving comments on my blog and on others. Though, it doesnt bother me if not all my posts get comments, because as much as anything else its a record of whats happening for ‘me’ and i would rather have no comments than dumb ones or ones just really for syndication. In fact i’d rather have comments too that lead to discussion than just say ‘yeah thats great’ if you know what i mean. I want people to think about what i’ve written, and question it, and maybe question how it would apply to them..i think i just like sharing ideas.
xx
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I think it would be to time consuming to post a comment to every blog. I read every post on my lj friends page, and on the blogs i visit - but i rarely comment unless something strikes me to and i feel it is useful to comment or to clarify something i did not understand.
Most of my blog is private or friends only so the lack of comments is based on the lack of public posts. I don’t consider myself to be a blogger, even though I would like to be. But i look around and wonder who would want to know the world according to terra?
I agree with you about a type of ettiquette for blogging. I understand a lot of authors view it as their space, and feel ok to abuse the heck out of commenters who question or don’t see things there way. I have also seen a lot of drama starting comments. I just don’t know what kind of norms would be on that list of ettiquette besides if you don’t have nothing nice to say, don’t say it.
I don’t get a “lot” of comments, but when I do I appreciate the fact that someone found something I wrote interesting…when someone links to me, it seems to me that they had found something interesting in my blog that they’d want to continue to go back or to share with others, so it doesn’t bother me, and it doesn’t bother me if they never comment. There are people who read my blog every day and never once comment - I only know from the analytics program …and the number of views as well… I also tend to only continue to leave comments with those blogs I enjoy reading and to show my appreciation or maybe I do have a question or interest and want to know something further, and the blog authors that I enjoy reading always show good manners in replying to the comments I leave… I’ve never been to the chat rooms - so can’t comment
I noticed that there are the blogs that have an abundance of comments and a lot of times they get downright nasty towards each other (blog author included) and honestly - not to rock anyone’s boat - I think that is just what the blog author is wanting - so once I see that in a blog, I normally avoid it…just makes me think that the post is more a “lure” for attention only and has no substance or reality.
luna replied on June 2nd, 2008 4:00 pm:
I completely avoid blogs that I see comments like that because I know sooner or later they are going to find the time to bash my blog and I don’t need any that crud here.
I used to spend a huge amount of time trying to comment on all the blogs that I read and link to but it became too overwhelming for me to keep up with on top of blogging and all my regular day to day stuff. So now I try to comment on posts that I feel like I have something to say and I do admit I do tend to comment back on people who have commented on my blog. I have always felt like it goes both ways and if they try to leave a comment, I should try to do the same. Journey does get a lot of comments sometimes on some posts but others will get none at all. The one comment which means the most to me is when my Master comments on my posts. I really love to hear his feedback on my posts.
BIG HUGS
padme amidala
padme amidalas last blog post..1.7 million hits on Journey to the Darkside!
luna replied on June 4th, 2008 11:11 am:
I totally agree that I love to see when Master comments on my posts here. I have a huge grin when he does!