BDSM and Children Do Not Mix
Recently in a forum I read about someone who was just starting a D/s relationship and was bringing someone into the home. The dominant stated that she wanted ideas of how to tell her 9 year old daughter about what she might be seeing and the behaviors that the slave she was bringing in would be exhibiting.
Boy did she get an earful from a lot of people. BDSM and children do not mix! I heartfully agree. I did not express my opinions there because as you may already know, I am without children and plan to stay that way. For me children just aren’t a part of the plan. I do however, have an opinion about this.
BDSM is an adult lifestyle choice. It is made between consenting adults and is explored by those adults only. Children can not consent, they should not be exposed to adult activities in any form. It may seem nice to have your slave kneel in collar and cuffs around your family, but it is inappropriate and wrong.
Children are influenced by everything they see or are exposed to. Have you seen the commercials for anti-smoking that is a mother and child in a grocery store? The little girl copies all of what her mom does, all very cute and adorable up until she asks the customer service person for a pack of cigarettes like her mother.
As an adult, your sexual, sensual and alternative choices should not be visible to your children. There are clever parents all over that practice D/s and BDSM in it’s varied forms with no exposure to their kids. They alter and adjust what they do. Some adopt a 50’s housewife look, others appear completely well adjusted and that’s the way it should be.
As kids get older and start asking sex questions, it is still not the time to tell them about BDSM. Again, this is the time for basic information. BDSM is still an adult choice and as far as I’m concerned it will always be that way. It’s evident by all of the irrational things we hear our children doing that having them experiement with BDSM activities before they are mature enough can be dangerous and deadly.
Exposing children to things like leashes, collars, the titles of Master or Sir may not only be confusing to a child but they are going to tell someone. From a casual observer to a teacher or something; next thing you know you will be investigated for child abuse.
“Hey, Rover has a leash like the one mommy uses on daddy!”
I know that I have missed things pertaining to this subject, please feel free to continue to conversation in the comments or on your own blogs, just be sure to post a link here so that we can read with you!
–luna
Tristan's pet
Squeezeplay
pinkroses521
mara tudor
I agree that kids do not mix with BDSM. I know many that expose their kids to a lot more than they should. For Master and I we don’t expose it to Aggi, as even though she’s 15 it still isn’t appropriate.
It does take a lot of work to balance both kids and BDSM, but I do believe that there are ways to keep it for the kid.
Perhaps you disagree, I’m not sure.
luna replied on July 3rd, 2008 5:31 am:
I don’t disagree, I just can’t say I know what alterations to daily living that people do to keep it from children as I do not have any.
You’ve pretty much covered it hon, excepting that if you’re too open about your BDSM lifestyle with your kids, child protective services may come over and take them away from you!
I have four kids from the ages of 16-21 and NONE of them know Sir and i live the D/s lifestyle. Sir has five kids from the ages of 20-29 and NONE of them know Sir and i live the D/s lifestyle. ALL of our kids though know i’m bisexual because my ex and i had several girl friends that lived with us and i had to explain to my kids at a young age about poly families. My WHOLE family ( mom, dad, sisters, cousins, aunts, uncles, grandmother), friends , employees, employers, kids teachers……EVERYONE knew about mine and my ex’s girl friend living with us and noone ever had a problem with it. Infact one of my sons teachers said he’s never seen a child so grounded, loving and centered in his life. BUT,…….there is NO way i would tell my kids about my D/s lifestyle. That’s only between Sir and i.I totally agre……BDSM and children do not mix!