BDSM is Love

I have been named a Gold level sponsor for this year! seraphina, the chairperson for NLA-I DVP emailed me this week to notify me that my banner for The Iron Gate will appear in the sponsors area of the website for the next year. That’s not all though. I will also have a sponsorship spot [...]

I got a wonderful thank you letter from the National Leather Association-International Domestic Violence Project this morning. Here’s a snippet of what seraphina, the chairperson had to say;
On behalf of the NLA-I Domestic Violence Project I would like to thank you personally for your generous gift of time and soliciting donations for the NLA-I [...]

Blogathon went great! It was a lot harder than last year getting all of my posts written in a timely manner. I had a lot of things I wanted to say but no real plan as to researching and pulling them all together. I already told Master that I was going to do it again [...]

Well folks,
It’s been a wonderful time here bring awareness for BDSM vs. Abuse. I’ve raised almost $500 for The National Leather Association-International Domestic Violence Project. Thank you so much to all my sponsors who believed with me that change starts with just $1. I hope that throughout this event if you’ve skimmed or read my [...]

Once again I’d like to please have you consider the wonderful cause of the NLA-I DVP. If you have but a dollar to spare it will not go wasted! You can continue to pledge and donate for a few days after the Blogathon as well; it’s never too late. In fact if you want to [...]

by Raven Shadowborne
This is a topic that comes up very often in discussing BDSM. It is guaranteed to cause some very emotional responses. Many try to link a submissive personality to past child abuse. Saying that a submissive personality is a psychological remnant of the past abuse. Some try to say that BDSM is just [...]

By Hans Meijer
snippet below:
In order to get a few - indeed quoted way too often - urban legends out of the way first: scientific research shows that the number of people with a traumatic (abuse) history within the erotic power exchange group is no different from any other group.
Since the same research (European as well [...]

The second essay that Norische has on the subject of dangerous situation is titled, Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts- Part 2: Submissives/Slaves
She lists and gives descriptions of submissives that may pose a problem to unsuspecting dominants. Of these she lists:

Cyber slave/sub.
The Professional Victim slave/sub.
The Show Piece [...]

Norische has a couple essays that deal with warning signs of dangerous situations and people. This first one is titled: Red Flags, Warning Signs, and Intuition: Learning to Trust You Instincts - Part One: Dominants
She gives a few key things to look out for in Dominants that are bad news.

If someone submits to you [...]

Domestic Violence has it’s own ribbon. Domestic Violence in the lifestyle has a ribbon campaign too.
Ribbon of Hope
The Ribbon of Hope is the color purple, symbolizing abuse survivors young and old. We are from all walks of life, everywhere from around the world, and the white dove is the eternal symbol [...]

Now a word from our sponsors…
Support the National Leather Association International Domestic Violence Project right now with a pledge for this blog’s efforts! Any amount will do!

When I was just getting started in BDSM, I didn’t know a lot about safety. I didn’t screen possible play partners and I rarely set up safe calls. I blame it on ignorance or naiveness.
I went off alone late at night for what turned out to really be a booty call. I didn’t know [...]

uncreatedsnow brought this scenario to me and asked if I could talk about it; that it’s good for my theme this year:
Well an old boyfriend was trying to get back together with me, and being disinterested i explained that i was into kink/bdsm/etc. and that it just wouldn’t work or be the same… after explaining [...]

WWTCK_Arthur asks: Can daily masturbation affect your ability to produce children?
Well now that would be so sad if it were true! Unlike women, men have an unlimited supply of the little guys. Masturbation will not affect your sperm production much. In general, the more frequently a man ejaculates, the more efficiently his sperm-producing mechanisms must [...]

Sheana asks: Are there a lot of vegans in your leather community? And what do they do about the conflict?
Well, I don’t know exact numbers for vegans, but I would assume it’s the same concentration as in the world at large. I know of a few in Iowa that I’ve spoken to personally. For those [...]

Frykitty asks: In Portland there’s a notorious swing club called Ace of Hearts. It’s had to move several times. Right now it’s on 39th. Anyway, it’s just a discreet little place with the ace of hearts sign out, and little else. Can’t see in, naturally. What would happen, do you think, [...]

That’s right folks; we’ve come to the wee hours of the morning where traveling browsers of bloggers will be more of the older crowd so what I’m going to do is open up my blog for sex questions! Now, they don’t have to be kinky in nature. I have regular sex too! I’ve done just [...]

Is it more difficult to prove that someone has been the victim of abuse in a BDSM relationship than to prove that someone has been abused in a vanilla relationship and, if so, how does one go about proving the abuse?
It’s not really about proving abuse and more about substantiating if consent was given. [...]