BDSM is Love

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This holiday weekend was pretty good overall. Friday and Saturday were great. I could have traded Sunday in for something better.
First Master and I got to really go at each other sexually and I was hungry for it all. I did a striptease and blow job for him in the living room which he said [...]

Saying no. This is a difficult essay for me. I assume you wanted me to write about when I say no to sexual things. A lot of the time when I say no, it has reason behind it. The rest of the time, I realize it is excuses. How I feel about saying no is [...]

There are tasks I just really don’t like. When Master assigns them but doesn’t give a time frame for completion they sit… and sit… and sit. I can’t wrap my head around the truth of the matter. Master requested that I do something for his pleasure, not mine. This is becoming the case with the [...]

It’s very important to make Master sexually happy at every possible moment. I have a bit of learning to do in this department. I’ve always hesitated when it comes to teasing Master’s cock with my mouth and hands. I love how he can make me feel with it, so it’s my turn to show him [...]

Tonight I am coloring my hair; at this very moment the creme is changing my hair from a dark brown to something auburn-ish. I haven’t colored my hair in over 4 years. I always had the perception that Master would want it natural. The fact that he went and helped me pick it out was [...]

Dear Master,
It’s almost Christmas and I think I may have found my happy thoughts again. I’m sorry you had to endure a long bout of depression and crankiness. I’ve felt pretty good the past few days. The stirring of my sexual desire is definitely a good sign. I’ll be ravaging you soon enough I [...]

On my way home from work today I was thinking about how far I’ve come since I was collared in February.  I’m amazed at how comfortable I’ve become with my role. I’m more accepting of Master’s rules and his control over me. I don’t fight quite so much. My sexual submission has come leaps and [...]

It really was a hard choice for me to decide whether I was going purple for National Domestic Violence Awareness month or pink for Breast Cancer awareness. I did Domestic Violence in July for the Blogathon and I intend on doing it again next year so the decision was made. This blog is going pink [...]

Dear Master,
Not to seem too self centered but I think I did pretty good this week. I hope I can continue on this journey this week. I’ve been a lot more concious of what is going on around you and when you need attention. Right now I know it almost always seems like it is [...]

Thank you so very much for all the wonderful comments on my last post about blow jobs. It has helped me immensely with my thinking process. Anyone who knows how to reprogram a behavior knows that the thought process comes first. I’m working right now on changing what I think of blow jobs, how I [...]

kiana made a good point in a comment on my last post. I’m not very positive thinking. I’ve heard it before, on this blog and in person and it comes as no surprise. I’ve always been pessimistic about everything. It causes me to worry about anything, to assume the worst in events and people and [...]

I’ve looked back through the archives lately and notice a trend. I’ve been working on some sexual training for near on 6 months! From blow jobs, to spontaneity and finally nipple clamps. It’s all to please Master and from what I can tell, progress is either non-existent or very very small. Perhaps there are things [...]

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

The nipple clamp training is going nowhere. I can’t get past 5 minutes. Master tried to lift the ring in the middle today and I about panicked. This isn’t fair. I want to please him and I want to be able to take more pain, especially in the nipples where he seems to get the [...]

What is one of your goals at the moment as a submissive?
A huge goal I have right now was actually talked about a little bit in my post last night. I hope to stop questioning Master and doing something without asking questions, saying no or trying to put it off. I’ve got to accept that [...]

This is why I have friends like all of you. After my last post, which I was really short in and grumpy and all out not myself, kaya posed a question that got me thinking. Quite common when she says something though. I rarely leave her blog without thoughts of my own.
A bit of background [...]

Dear Master,
I was looking forward to the sensual blow job planned for today until I forgot about it. Now that you are expecting it I feel obligated to do it no matter what. I don’t expect to know is why I forgot, just that I did. Boy do I feel guilty. We’ve had so much [...]

Dear Master,
We just finished having a bit of fun and I guess I do have to admit that I am beginning to like blow jobs with you. I have to keep focused on your sounds and reactions and it becomes about giving you more pleasure and not fussing over my discomfort. I am happy [...]

Today is Master’s birthday. It’s a day he’s been planning for about a week. Today I am to be his sex slut whenever he wants me. I have to say yes every time he wants a blow job, I am to be available for all sorts of sexual pleasures and my main goal today is [...]

Saying no. This is a difficult essay for me. I assume you wanted me to write about when I say no to sexual things. A lot of the time when I say no, it has reason behind it. The rest of the time, I realize it is excuses. How I feel about saying no is [...]