BDSM is Love

Serving to serve is one form of service I provide my Master. Somehow I’ve compartmentalized it from service for pleasure. It could just be my way of providing more service to him in different ways.
An example of service to serve is when I’m not in the mood for a blow job but I know he [...]

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

It’s very important to make Master sexually happy at every possible moment. I have a bit of learning to do in this department. I’ve always hesitated when it comes to teasing Master’s cock with my mouth and hands. I love how he can make me feel with it, so it’s my turn to show him [...]

Well, it’s official. Master is registered for ShibariCon 2008 and I will be by the end of the month! Then we have the train ticket to get and we can save money for the hotel and other entertainment! Oh god I’m so excited.
I’ve gotten to really love rope, and I know that I will enjoy [...]

On my way home from work today I was thinking about how far I’ve come since I was collared in February.  I’m amazed at how comfortable I’ve become with my role. I’m more accepting of Master’s rules and his control over me. I don’t fight quite so much. My sexual submission has come leaps and [...]

This weekend was a lot of fun! Master and I went to a private play party where he got to tie me up. I was in a hogtie and really floaty for quite some time. I loved every minute of it.
We stayed in a suite that had a whirlpool and while Master got more time [...]

Let me start off with a diet week in review since I didn’t do that yesterday. This is week 5 if you are keeping track and I’m way off the diet trail. I weighed in at 315 today. That’s back to the starting point again. I have a few reasons for this and I can [...]

This whole weekend is a celebration for Master and I. We have been together for 3 years and we have grown closer, more intimate and stronger in our roles with one another. It’s a beautiful time.
Lots of sex is promised, as well as bondage, flogging and anything else we can fit in the mix. We [...]

Thank you so very much for all the wonderful comments on my last post about blow jobs. It has helped me immensely with my thinking process. Anyone who knows how to reprogram a behavior knows that the thought process comes first. I’m working right now on changing what I think of blow jobs, how I [...]

We got so busy yesterday with friends after work that I didn’t get to blog like I should, I’m making it up now!
Master and I have the same discussions over and over. They are always about my failings when it comes to the  sexual ballpark of blowjobs.  You hear it on this blog all the [...]

Last night I had one of the worst orgasm headaches I have ever had. I’ve had them previously but they were just a dull ache at the time of orgasm and faded minutes later. This one was huge, almost migraine material. The orgasm was great until the headache hit and the afterglow pleasure was gone [...]

Master is waiting for a blowjob. He wants a full service blow job. I’ve had reasons for not doing it that have been valid up until now.
And then today I want to give him a blowjob but I don’t want it to be the full service kind. I want the opening act type. I want [...]

I’m here. I’m posting, but as I’ve read many times from others… I have nothing to say. I can hope that a river of thoughts rushes past my fingertips so that a post will exist when I am done.
I’m struggling with another headache, nothing like the one that caused me such anguish last week. [...]

Since my recollaring Master and I have played several times, our relationship is stronger than ever and the future is bright and happy. I have looked from the past to the future and I can declare that the state of our love is good! How cheesy is that?!
Valentine’s Day may be a day set aside [...]

So…
It’s been one month since I set my resolutions. How am I doing you wonder? I’ve got the update. It’s not that great really, but there’s always progress to be made, ya know?
The Personal Growth resolutions:

Brushing my teeth isn’t going well. I do about twice a week *sigh* How gross I know. This month I [...]

In my previous post I wrote about an essay that I read and am thinking about. Yesterday was a good example of what not to do.
I got up in what I thought was a good mood and then I read my email from the client that I’m doing the site for. His email made me [...]

I hope everyone’s Thanksgiving went well. Master and I spent a nice day at home with no work, no stress (other than my usual cooking stress) and it was great. It would have been better had my pussy not still been sore from 3 days ago when Master and I went all out with so [...]

Dated 11-3-06
Dear Master,
Last night was really hard on me. I’ve been stressing about a lot of things lately and disappointing you yet again really hurt. I’ve got so many problems with giving you blowjobs; some of which I’m still realizing. My mind freezes when you ask me to suck your off. I have some hesitation [...]

I can’t help but feel frustrated when Master looks at me with those lustful eyes and I sit here in pain and ache from my darn shoulder still acting up. He wants me, he wants me rough and wild and I can’t get my body to agree to that. I want him too, so very [...]

Dated 9-20-06
Dear Master,
This has been a very hard week. I don’t feel I’m living up to your expectations. I don’t feel like I’m working hard enough to fix the things that are wrong with me.
Blowjobs. Yes they are hard for me. They have always been that way. I have always thought of them as a [...]