BDSM is Love

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Serving to serve is one form of service I provide my Master. Somehow I’ve compartmentalized it from service for pleasure. It could just be my way of providing more service to him in different ways.
An example of service to serve is when I’m not in the mood for a blow job but I know he [...]

There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.

It’s very important to make Master sexually happy at every possible moment. I have a bit of learning to do in this department. I’ve always hesitated when it comes to teasing Master’s cock with my mouth and hands. I love how he can make me feel with it, so it’s my turn to show him [...]

Well, it’s official. Master is registered for ShibariCon 2008 and I will be by the end of the month! Then we have the train ticket to get and we can save money for the hotel and other entertainment! Oh god I’m so excited.
I’ve gotten to really love rope, and I know that I will enjoy [...]

On my way home from work today I was thinking about how far I’ve come since I was collared in February.  I’m amazed at how comfortable I’ve become with my role. I’m more accepting of Master’s rules and his control over me. I don’t fight quite so much. My sexual submission has come leaps and [...]

It really was a hard choice for me to decide whether I was going purple for National Domestic Violence Awareness month or pink for Breast Cancer awareness. I did Domestic Violence in July for the Blogathon and I intend on doing it again next year so the decision was made. This blog is going pink [...]

Thank you so very much for all the wonderful comments on my last post about blow jobs. It has helped me immensely with my thinking process. Anyone who knows how to reprogram a behavior knows that the thought process comes first. I’m working right now on changing what I think of blow jobs, how I [...]

We got so busy yesterday with friends after work that I didn’t get to blog like I should, I’m making it up now!
Master and I have the same discussions over and over. They are always about my failings when it comes to the  sexual ballpark of blowjobs.  You hear it on this blog all the [...]

kiana made a good point in a comment on my last post. I’m not very positive thinking. I’ve heard it before, on this blog and in person and it comes as no surprise. I’ve always been pessimistic about everything. It causes me to worry about anything, to assume the worst in events and people and [...]

I’ve looked back through the archives lately and notice a trend. I’ve been working on some sexual training for near on 6 months! From blow jobs, to spontaneity and finally nipple clamps. It’s all to please Master and from what I can tell, progress is either non-existent or very very small. Perhaps there are things [...]

To continue on the same thread that has been swimming around this blog for the past week; Master and I had a discussion about my eagerness to say no and what it means for our relationship. If you’ve been reading you know that I’ve been having problems with obedience. Master tells me he wants something [...]

Master is waiting for a blowjob. He wants a full service blow job. I’ve had reasons for not doing it that have been valid up until now.
And then today I want to give him a blowjob but I don’t want it to be the full service kind. I want the opening act type. I want [...]

I’m here. I’m posting, but as I’ve read many times from others… I have nothing to say. I can hope that a river of thoughts rushes past my fingertips so that a post will exist when I am done.
I’m struggling with another headache, nothing like the one that caused me such anguish last week. [...]

This is why I have friends like all of you. After my last post, which I was really short in and grumpy and all out not myself, kaya posed a question that got me thinking. Quite common when she says something though. I rarely leave her blog without thoughts of my own.
A bit of background [...]

As most of you already know, I post rather regularly. My rules actually state that I post every Monday, Wednesday and Friday with a handwritten letter to Master (reposted later that week) on Sunday. So where was my post yesterday?
I fell asleep. I fell asleep at 7:30! This week was my first week of having [...]

First I want to say thank you to all the wonderful readers out there that congratulated Master and myself for the renewed collaring. We both greatly appreciate it and while I’d love to thank each and every one of you individually; there just isn’t enough time in the day. Thank you so much, from the [...]

In my previous post I wrote about an essay that I read and am thinking about. Yesterday was a good example of what not to do.
I got up in what I thought was a good mood and then I read my email from the client that I’m doing the site for. His email made me [...]

I hope everyone’s Thanksgiving went well. Master and I spent a nice day at home with no work, no stress (other than my usual cooking stress) and it was great. It would have been better had my pussy not still been sore from 3 days ago when Master and I went all out with so [...]

Dated 11-3-06
Dear Master,
Last night was really hard on me. I’ve been stressing about a lot of things lately and disappointing you yet again really hurt. I’ve got so many problems with giving you blowjobs; some of which I’m still realizing. My mind freezes when you ask me to suck your off. I have some hesitation [...]

Dated 9-20-06
Dear Master,
This has been a very hard week. I don’t feel I’m living up to your expectations. I don’t feel like I’m working hard enough to fix the things that are wrong with me.
Blowjobs. Yes they are hard for me. They have always been that way. I have always thought of them as a [...]