BDSM is Love

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Thinking about how hard it is for me to find out why I changed so suddenly. I know that I hold my guilt a lot longer than most people do. I may have been forgiven for something but I don’t forgive myself as easily. I felt so guilty about my issue this summer that I [...]

I know you didn’t expect me to post since I said I was taking a break. Don’t get too excited. I don’t plan to be gone long, but I’m not back yet. This blog is still technically on hiatus, but Master insisted that I finish my story about our play on Sunday, so here it [...]

We had been talking about this day for over a week. Master wanted to schedule time to play. I was more than eager to play as well. I woke up this morning in the right mood as well. BONUS! I took a bath. Last night we got some special preview bath wash from Bath and [...]

I’ve been a very bad girl lately. It’s really inexcusable; as everything is with me lately. I’ve been disappointing, both to myself and to my love and Master. First, if you notice the date of this blog, I am quite late posting, as my rules state it is supposed to be every other day. It [...]

Yesterday Master and I went out on a date. Payday yesterday was a good day. I went to the store before coming home, knowing that Master would still be in bed and bought 2 roses. I wanted to surprise him with the flowers, since the last time I gave him flowers he loved it. I [...]

Master asked for a blowjob tonight in between posts. Instead of willingly doing so I gave him a face and said “no.” He has now requested that I blog about why I said no.
I’m not supposed to say no, I’m supposed to be willing to do anything to please Master whenever he wishes. It’s a [...]

Master just told me I should say that more often. I’m sure there are many things he wants me to do more often.
Master and I are recovering from some “Master’s whore” time. Boy was it wonderful to feel so well used and into my part. I feel like myself and that I can be free [...]

I’m depressed, and more than just slightly. I’m caught between bouts of crying and sleeping with a disinterest in all things around me. Interesting enough Master asked me if my good subbie routine would fade when I’m not depressed anymore. I guess I am more attentive and behave when I am like this. I don’t [...]

I’ve begun to experience computer problems and while Master and I are sure it’s a hardware issue, we don’t have a clue as to what hardware it could be. We can’t afford to just swap pieces out as we try to diagnose so it may be that one day my computer will just die and [...]

I have started writing a personal submissive code of ethics. I’m not sure how well I will be able to apply myself to following them to the best of my ability but I feel that if they written down I might be more aware of them. For those that may not know, a code of [...]

My life has been turned upside down recently. My body has stopped responding the way it used to when it comes to sex and thinking about sex. I’m terrified because I haven’t been horny in months, I haven’t had a craving for sex or orgasm in months and it’s begun to affect our relationship. [...]

I’m questioning myself tonight. Master had a lot of issues that he wanted to get off his chest; things that I’m not doing that somewhere along the lines we had agreed I’d do. I realize that I need to get back into trying to do them. Master wants to become more assertive than he currently [...]

I’m questioning myself tonight. Master had a lot of issues that he wanted to get off his chest; things that I’m not doing that somewhere along the lines we had agreed I’d do. I realize that I need to get back into trying to do them. Master wants to become more assertive than he currently [...]

I am to give Master a blow job tonight. I can’t really talk about how I feel about it. I have to just suck it up and do it. There is no such thing as “no” when it comes to sex.
Master talked to me about a lot of things, most of which I don’t have [...]

From Submissive Journal Prompts - “Write down three things you didn’t do because you were afraid. What could have changed in your life had you done them?”
1. I think my issue with swallowing Master’s cum has some fear involved other than just ick. I’ve been analysing it more than I probably should and I’ve come [...]

Master and I have been going through a period of training. Nothing out of the ordinary in this sort of relationship, but for me it can be mentally stressful and emotionally hard for me. I’ve spoken about it before: blowjobs… well more specifically swallowing Master’s cum. Many submissives and slaves have stated to me in [...]

Yes Valentine’s was hard. Thank you for all the comments to my blog about your thoughts and feelings and the support while I work on things.
Yesterday after some gentle coaxing from starla I was able to see that I have a greater goal to reach and not to dwell on this setback. I did finally [...]

I had a dream last night of what Valentine’s Day should have been like. It should have included romantic interludes, and affectionate gazes. It should have had time being with each other, so close you could breathe the same air. It should have had climaxes and breaks for exhaustion. It should have let me feel [...]