BDSM is Love

Today I have been so annoyed with Master. I’m not 100% sure why but it has lead to some very tense moments and I have taken a long drive to get away from my thoughts for the day.
I woke up at 5:30am. I haven’t done so in over a year and I just couldn’t sleep, [...]

I’m depressed. I’ve spent all day on a short fuse and feeling like the world is collapsing in on itself. It could be a number of things bothering me. I am done with school; school has been my routine for over 6 years and now I don’t have to look forward to going back anymore. [...]

This week is half over and I feel that I can get back into my routines. If you don’t remember what my routines are, I have them on this blog:
Morning Routine
Evening Routine
Thanks to Flaylady for the ideas for what to put in my routines, I also have daily checklists and cleaning lists to help [...]

I have just completed my coursework for my final semester at school. I’m turning them in later this afternoon and walking around campus one last time. It’s not like I won’t be in the area for like the next 6 months or more, but I am just doing that final look thing. When I printed [...]

From Submissive Journal Prompts - “Write down three things you didn’t do because you were afraid. What could have changed in your life had you done them?”
1. I think my issue with swallowing Master’s cum has some fear involved other than just ick. I’ve been analysing it more than I probably should and I’ve come [...]

Master and I time is coming up this week. I’ve asked if we can set aside some time one day during spring break to be together. I’m looking forward to it. I’m not sure what we will be doing, but I’m feeling the need to be with him so badly, in any way I can. [...]

I woke today with a really weird feeling. I felt I was forgetting something. I still feel that way but I can’t think what it is. I hope I can figure it out soon. I don’t enjoy the unsettled mind.
I also need to make time to do some cleaning. I just don’t know why I [...]

I have awesome news for everyone. I weighed myself yesterday, marking a week of dieting (almost the longest I have ever gone) and I have lost 4 lbs! Granted I am sure most of that was water weight, I’m not complaining. I’m still going strong and watching every single thing I eat, exercising 5 times [...]

I’ve been really busy today with things for the radio station. Night_Wulf told me about this really neat program from Adobe called Audition. It’s basically mixing software. It was hard to get the hang of at first, but after a few tries and laughs at what I came up with I was successful at making [...]

I saw a list like this on Master Dream’s precious treasure’s blog and thought it was a kewl thing. It took me 2 hours to come up with 100 things about me. Enjoy and I hope you learn more than you ever thought you wanted to about me.
1. My name is Jennifer, not Jen, Jenn, [...]

So, today I helped Master get the CROP website up and functioning http://www.crop-ia.com . I’m pretty excited to have this done and well… I can help do other things now. I have an outline for my paper done, going to start writing it tomorrow morning, and I have most of my presentation prepared for Thursday’s [...]

Well, here it is. A big change and a small step back. On Monday night I gave Master his collar back. I didn’t feel I was ready for the full commitment it entails. I have a problem with accepting punishments. It isn’t like when others have a resistence to giving up control. I love it [...]

Yes, Martha Stewart wouldn’t be so happy to know I’m coining her phrase, but I could care less. My body is killing me today and I think it’s from all the work I’ve done with exercise and housecleaning. I hope I can do my exercises later, but if I can’t, then that’s okay too. I [...]

Okay so I started my diet again yesterday and as always I feel like this time is “the” time I will be able to stay on track. I really think that with my new online support team of friendly submissives sending me sweet messages and wishing me luck on an occasional basis just might help. [...]

I did a lot of housework today, and feel somewhat relieved that the house is clean. I never thought I would feel so good about my housework. I felt energized and have other cleaning to do later, maybe on Wednesday if I don’t have a lot of homework.
Speaking of homework I have some preparation to [...]

This blog is beginning to look like a depression party. I am constantly finding things out about myself that I really don’t like, wish to change, hate that I did or am disappointed in the outcome. Lately, as in starting last night, I felt really bad about the rules list that Master had given me [...]

Last night’s dinner at azriel’s house was lots of fun. We arrived around 4:30 and Brie was already there. We finally met azriel’s roommate CJ. She’s quiet, very conservative and modest and interesting to talk to. Spent a nice time chatting and waiting for the last one to arrive. I so love being around friends. [...]

I hope that my new year’s resolutions will stick. I have a lot of hopes to see them through, but I also know how my motivation holds out. It’s terrible. So today I start my cleaning list, the place will be maintained. Monday I start my diet, ouch. And as far as my submissive contract [...]